Suvarnabhumi Airport

On my way home for the last time, and feeling pretty chipper about it all. I've been upgraded to Business Class for the whole trip, including being driven home from Manchester, thanks to wifey's carefully hoarded airmiles (I owe you a posh dinner missus).

I'm in the Emirates lounge, la di da, just had my posh breakfast in the little resh-tront here. Has anyone else observed the curious lethargy that overcomes people in Hotel/Lounge self-serve restaurants, by the way? Most intriguing. It's asif they think if they move r e a l l y s l o w l y... nobody will notice they don't know where the butter is. Since noticing this, and not wanting to run (or amble) with the crowd, I move very quickly and with apparent confidence, even though I'm probably the world's worst butter-finder. Of course this means I end up with some strange meals but I manage to cram it all in somehow.

I'm aware that this isn't exactly Manchester-based news, and that means I was slightly too eager to get the new blog going, but my excuse is that I've had a few days of sitting around waiting for stuff to happen and I needed something un-stressful to think about.

While we're on the new blog, the colour has been called into question. Let me be clear: I'll have no dissent here. The choice was driven by extremely expensive professional psychological profiling of the texts of all the contributions so far, and is calculated to induce a feeling of calm and serenity in the prospective contributor. So what d'you mean, you don't like it?

While we're on psychological profiling, has the election finished yet? I hope you all voted, or at least those of you who live in the UK. I would have, but someone binned the forms...I emailed all the local candidates and suggested that if they signed up to the "Save 6Music" lobby, I might vote for them. I got an immediate reply from the UKIP candidate which was full of vim and vigour, but basically said no. I had the impression they aren't really inrterested in music, more focussed on keeping the pound. Doesn't get my vote. I had a few other replies, the last of which, and the most supportive, was from the green party. There is no Labour candidate for the area, so some tactical voting is required methinks...

Here's the last meal I had in Bangkok:
Green Chicken Curry. Boy was it hot - that's a proper Thai curry, tastes basically like coconut flavoured battery acid.

Ah well, that's enough. Might scribble something from the Emirates lounge in Dubai.

Bye all.

Montage

From Wikipedia:
Montage (filmmaking), a filmmaking technique which uses rapid editing, special effects and music to present compressed narrative information.

I'm reliably informed that you "Gotta Have" one, so here, accompanied by the glorious 2 mins 8 secs of the aptly named "Intro" by The XX, is my Bangkok experience...


Some nice moments in there. Filling up now....

Thanks to everyone, big or small, who supported the blog. Sometimes it kept me sane, sometimes it drove me mad. It will continue under the new name, but obviously the content will be a bit less exotic. Pictures of buskers and big-issue-sellers in Piccadilly for instance....

I'll post the address of the new blog here when I know it.

As always,

Be good.

Philanthropy, photography and finality.

Just had a call from a very excited Thai student. He's on his way to my apartment as we speak, to pick up all the free gear I advertised, or rather wifey advertised. We're talking worktop cooker, cushions, top mattresses, kettle and toaster. I had no intention of carting them home, and no time to advertise them for sale, so she quickly lobbed an ad onto the Anglo Info forum. Now I feel very philanthropic.

In other news, the apartment now looks like nobody lives here. All my stuff is piled into one corner ready for the movers on Monday, except the drums which I'm leaving to the last minute in case I feel musical in the next 36 hours.

I've moved my flight forward to Wednesday morning, or rather wifey has (Seeing a pattern here?). I have to say, having witnessed via skype video link the two-hour muzak-athon which was required in order to change the flight, including (I counted) four instances of being on hold and the line going dead and having to start again, that she showed patience above and beyond the call of duty. Hats off to the ginger one. Anyway, that gets me home by Wednesday evening, with sufficient time to get stupidly excited about picking up the bike, which won't be ready till the weekend.

The bike is in friend John's shop (Bridge Road Motorcycles www.brmc.co.uk in Crosby, Liverpool - there you go John, a free plug) being fixed up after two years of neglect. Apparently it's running already and an MOT is imminent. I've probably mentioned this before, but I'm stupidly excited about getting back on the noisy yellow monster. On top of the excitiement of coming home for good, and starting a new job, I'm just about jumping up and down with it.

While we're on workshops, isn't Martin's place in New Mills called BB Auto's? Well, I spotted another branch of the franchise the other day here in Bangkok...
Kept that quiet didn't he?

While we're on new jobs, I've done my last full day in the Plexal office and had a nice meal with a select few of my colleagues here. It was good, we all said how great we were and some beer was involved. Also the cheapest steamed sea-bass I'll see for a few years to come.

This wil be my last blog before I come home and the whole thing gets moved onto another address. When I'm home I will sort all that out, so for now watch this space for details of "Squirrel Times".

Be good, and be there when I get home.

Bart's Burning

Friend Bart went kite-surfing in Pran Buri last weekend. Result: fanatic interest in more kitesurfing, and one of the worst cases of daft-Englishman-in-sunny-climate sunburn I've seen since I went to Koh Samet last year with wifey (which was detailed in this very location). How sore does this look?....

Makes me squirm just looking at it. Could be worse - could be me!

Khao Yai Hash

I went on my first ride with the Bangkok Hash House Bikers last weekend. Had a great time, and got a prolonged lesson in fitness, which included blood, sweat, cramp, nausea, cramp, shredded paper, new friends and more cramp.

I'm going to try to upload an edited video but it's quite a big file so I've no idea if it will load, or if you'll be able to access it afterwards. Here's hoping. The camera's batteries lasted 56 minutes into a 2.5 hour ride, and I then cut down what I had to 9 minutes. I've added a soundtrack and faded voices up as needed, for people who were actually there to hear themselves speak....

(Yes Lyn, that is blood on my forearm. A mere flesh wound.)

Here's how the Hash House thing works: the route is researched during the preceding weeks by the "hare", who on the day lays a trail of shredded paper at the side of the trail for the pack to follow. This is done early morning so that the hare can be present at the start of the hash to give some clues as to what to expect. The paper is in little piles at about 100 metre intervals. There are false trails, deliberately laid to slow down the "FRB's" (front-running bastards). There are also check points, which are large crosses of paper, which mean that the trail continues somewhere within 500 metres of the cross. These also slow down the leaders, as people have to be sent in all directions looking for the continuation. In the video you can see that I was actually present for the breaking of one check point, meaning I was up at the front, or near it. That was before cramp set in, but that's another story. After the ride, the group "circle up" for the ritual humiliation of anyone who's done or said anything embarrassing durng the day. This involves being sent to the middle of the circle and having to drink a glass of beer in one go while the rest of the group laugh at your misfortune. It's all good fun, and the people are nice. There were over 100 at this hash. I joined up for the next one which is on my birthday at the end of April.

The ride itself was proof that I could be a lot fitter. Normally they do a "hangover ride" on the Sunday, but I was in no fit state this time so I got a lift home with two of my new mates. I felt sick, my legs were wobbly and I could feel muscle damage starting after being ravaged during the race by too much lactic acid built up in my overworked leg muscles. Next time I will definitely try the baking soda trick offered by our South Africa correspondent Odette. Cramp is incredibly painful and always seems to hit me after about 2 hours of exercise. One lady took pity on me and stopped to chat near the end, as I was off the bike ooing and aaahing and hopping around in agony. It wasn't the first time I'd stopped and people were always kind and helpful. I saw not one selfish act the whole day, most refreshing. I do hate feeling like an idiot though - I went into this expecting a bunch of casual riders who barely break sweat, but instead I was the lame duck. Next time.........

To give some idea of the toughness of the ride, I've been doing longish rides in the last month on the roads around Bangkok, and my average speed over say 60 kilometres is about 26.5 kph. In Kao Yai the ride was 37.5 km and I averaged 13.3 kph. That shows the difference between road and trail riding. Mind you, some of the hills were very steep and prolonged, which for some reason you can't see from the video. The downhills were nice though.

I must say, the Khao Yai area is very nice, lots of hills and farmland and much quieter than Bangkok. It's about 2.5 hours North of the city so I booked into a resort neaby for the night. That meant that theoretically I could have a few beers and relax in good company, but I'm afraid I only lasted till 9pm and conked out.

The bike worked well as usual. I was spooked by some of the horror stories the veterans were telling about Thai thorn bushes, so needlessly I bought a spare-spare inner tube and carted it around in my camelbak needlessly. I didn't get one puncture. The nearest I came to a mishap was riding through some shrubbery and knocking the camera off line. You'll see that in the video. Oh, and I also took a swipe from a branch and ended up with blood running down my forearm - also briefly visible in the video.

Some pics:

Belmont Village, my resting place for the weekend. Very Dutch Village. Windmills, dykes..



Mine was the green one.



Hashers in repose. This was the half-way water stop. I ate about 50 cakes and was still hungry. Sitting down in the foreground is Linda, a fellow noob, who in fact finished at the same time as I did.



Our van and trailer. Owned and run by Chris, a very nice ex-US marine who also did the ride. 20 quid got me and my bike taken there and back with 7 like-minded individuals. Great fun.

That's about it really. So many new things to think about, I probably should write them all down but my head is log-jammed with information.

Overall I loved it. Can't wait for the next one, which is happening an 26-27 April (my birthday, but don't tell anyone - I wouldn't like to end up in the circle drinking beer and being laughed at) near Pattaya. See you there.

Be good.

Epic

Sorry for the apparent media blackout. I haven't been kidnapped and indoctrinated into the red-shirt cult, I've just been busy. As the title suggests, the bike ride in Kao Yai was an adventure of epic proportions.

Watch this space for a condensed video, some photos and a lot of self-congratulatory twaddle.

Be good.

White shirts?

I know, I'm in danger of becoming your far-east shirt correspondent, but a strange new group appeared on the scene here today. I was out cycling - same route as last time but a bit further - and this time on the way home I witnessed about 100 folk in white shirts getting ready to head into town. They had Thai flags, and the occasional yellow flag, so maybe they are campaigning for the status quo. I couldn't tell if they were hostile (they all just looked bewildered) so didn't feel able to photograph them.

Anyhoo, on the subject of cycling, I managed 62 k today without too much drama. Made my juice a bit too strong, got thirsty and ran out with 7 k to go, which caused a bit of cramp. I think that because I sweat so much, the balance of chemicals needed to keep me going can easily get out of tolerance, so to speak. Or maybe the cramp was due to a build up of lactic acid and I need to take Odette's baking-soda advice.

I'm fairly confident now, that I won't be completely useless on next Saturday's Hash House ride. I will try to remember to wear the helmet-cam for that. Should be fun.

Here's a photo of home, from 3 k away:

Right, I'm off to relax for the rest of the day. Be good.

More red shirts

Yep, they're still around. They all went up the road outside our office today, on their way to the 11th Brigade barracks to harass the Prime Minister, who of course had already fled in a chopper to another location. That didn't stop them arriving mob-handed and allegedly throwing grenades into the army ranks. It's all go here, I tell you. Anyway, here's a photo - this stream of trucks went on for miles. Apparently there were 100,000 of the blighters. Thaksin's last throw of the dice? Who knows...
Sleep well, everone.

Red shirts, silly slogans and stuff.

I went for a nice long ride this morning, 45 kilometres. No problem with my new super duper electrolyte fluid. Anyway, I went about twenty k's and stopped for a rest in a shady spot under the expressway...
Yes not very inspiring I know. I can report that the land around Bangkok is as flat as a pancake for as many miles as I'm prepared to ride. Where was I? ah yes, in the shade. A bloke pulled up in his pickup and went fishing in the canal, and I noticed the guy who'd done the spray job on the car had a sense of humour...Says it all really, and a nice addition to my collection of nonsense slogans.

On the way home I found myself in the middle of a bunch of protesters getting ready to head into Bangkok. It's the big bash this weekend, when the red shirts are supposed to bring the city to a standstill. They hate the current regime (elitist, middle-class - allegedly) and they want new elections. They say they will continue to march until they get what they want. In fact they have all been paid 3000 baht to attend by Takhsin's lackeys. Power to the people!
Despite some hard looks, they seemed a friendly bunch, even happy to wave to the silly farang on the bike....

By the way, I must say it's nice, when you're tired and confused and don't necessarily know your way around, to be able to see your house from five miles away. Gave me a nice boost on the last stretch.

I'm all fixed up with accommodation... www.belmontkhaoyai.com and also transport to my first Hash House Ride in two weeks time. I exchanged some emails with a man with a van who takes groups there and back, with bikes, for a small fee. He assures me I'm going to enjoy the trip and says BHHB is the best thing that's happened in Bangkok since he came here 8 years ago. I'm really looking forward to it, which I've probably already mentioned. Now that I'm semi-fit, the physical side of it is less of a concern, so I can look forward to meeting new people and having enough breath to speak to them.

In other news, the F1 season got underway yesterday with quallifying for the Bahrain Grand Prix. I loved it, and I'm just about to settle down and watch the race itself. The most interesting season for many years with as many as six drivers in with a very good chance.

I'm off. Be good.

Cool

On the walk to work this morning it was cloudy and there was a slight breeze, meaning it was "only" about 30 degrees. I was still sweating by the time I got to the lovely air conditioned office. On the way in there was a Thai bloke in a bobble hat, presumably to keep his ears warm.

That is just plain wrong.

Advertising is dangerous

I was walking home today, going past some of those plastic-tubes-that-blow-up-in-the-air-with-logos-on, when one of them draped itself across my head and nearly dislodged my glasses. Most embarrassing.

My Hero

(Takes a while to load, needs sound for best atmosphere)

http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1267656188005RA80

Rousing stuff.

Well, I liked it anyway.

One Night in New Mills

Going home today, for a night and a day.

It's to pick up my mountain bike so I can start riding it over here. Trip costs same as new bike, so why not?

Laters

I'm on!

Got phone and interweb in the new apartment at last.

In other news, no motorbike. Would it make me happy? Probably not.

Might think about a pushbike though....

15 Bottles of wine later

We (Plexal) had our traditional New Years party last night (yes yes it's February - we're busy ok?). It was at Buri Restaurant, on the river. Good location, might bring the missus there next time she's over. Here's sunset from before the wine came..

You wouldn't think this was in the middle of Bangkok, na?

Our General Manager had ordered 15 bottles of French red. Rude not to drink it really, so we did. Here we are much later, all rather unsteady. I'm the one hiding behind the boss's granddaughter. I should have stood up but felt a bit woozy. Hic.

A bunch of drunken bums, AKA Plexal.

As Good As It Gets

I just watched Notting Hill, followed by As Good As It Gets. Cried my bloody eyes out. I wouldn't mind but I've seen both films a million times.

Sometimes schmaltz is ok.

Rutnin

Rutnin - no, not a new band. It's the eye hospital in Bangkok. I went to see if the prognosis for my condition (Coats' Disease - look it up) had changed in the last 30 years. Bad news - it hasn't. Good news - after exhaustive tests my left eye shows no sign of developing problems. Sarcastic whoopees all round.

I did get a severe lecture from the eye quack, about playing squash sans goggles (Lynny, find my prescription gigs and send them over please).

I also got a lecture from the missus which was along the lines of "fix the teeth first, you moron".

I also got my left eye's pupil dilated for the examination, then sent out into Bangkok sunshine to make my way home (eyewatering), hoping it would wear off before my squash match later in the day (it did).

While we're on squash....Who said nothing ever gets fixed in Thailand? This is one of the courts at Supalai Park (my apartment block). I can nip over and play any time I like and I'm just as happy as a clam.

I've bought four new albums this week, all by artists you lot won't have heard of, you bunch of Philistines. When I've listened exhaustively to them all I'll post a track from each album here, as part of my ongoing (and rather sad) atempt to enlighten you all to the pleasures of music that isn't either a) a thousand years old, or b) written with the latest x-factor contestant in mind. By the way Sandy, that Philistines jab doesn't include you. Gosh, I can hear the howls from everyone else already. (Note from editor - this is better stuff, edgy, cynical.) Which brings up a question - hands up anyone who's actually gone and bought music on the strength of my posting it here? Do any of you actually buy music, or have you fallen into that curse of modern society, the illegal download? Or would you rather watch telly than turn on the stereogram? Shame on you for either.

I watched a guy die this morning on TV, and I'm not happy about it. I sat down and there it was - the terrible accident on the Luge at the Olympics. No need to go into details, but the point is, why show it? Not in the public interest at all. Gave me the heeby geebies, and so sad for his family.

Right, I'm off to sulk. Be good.

General Business

Saw this chap during a very enjoyable day around Chatuchak market with M and the Missus. No reason for posting it, I just like the photo.They really go for the western thing here, no idea why. The stetson is, in my opinion, one of the US's better exports. Along with pool, burgers and Specialized (with a z) bikes. Oh, and blues.

Our day in "JJ" (jatujak) was finished off nicely when we discovered a bar on the edge of the market that plays really good music. I noted down two tracks, after asking the (French) DJ what they were called, and when I track them down I will post them here of course, for your listening pleasure. A very enjoyable end to a day of haggling. Next time I visit I'll make sure it's late afternoon...

I also liked this sign on the lifts in Supalai Park:What, faulty wiring?

Found an excellent jazz music venue in Silom this weekend, and sat with Lyn for an hour watching and listening to a very good four piece band. Poor Lyn is still a bit jet-lagged so she nodded off while I tapped my feet and nodded my head knowledgeably (and probably completely out of time). I actually applauded their last number half way through during a long pause. Embarrassing, especially when the drummer looked round at me and laughed. Solidarity? Nah. Anyway for people coming to Bangkok, the place is called Niu Bar. I might take the missus back there when she's able to stay awake for more than 30 mins at a stretch, and have a meal.

Speaking of the incredible sleeping woman, she's currently snoozing by the pool. This is quite a trick since direct sunlight is in a narrow stripe caused by the gap between buildings one and two between 11am and 2pm. Constant exposure is not possible without moving two feet to the left every twenty minutes or so, and even then you'd have to sit in the paddling pool between 12.30 and 12.45. No joke, they actually built the pool in the shade of the building it belongs to. Corking.

More soon, be good.

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.

Normal practice, when stepping in wet concrete, is to hastily backtrack and check if anyone noticed, then get away quickly. At least that's how I see it. Apparently here, you just keep walking till you get where you're going, hardly even noticing you've ruined some poor council worker's pride and joy (not to mention a perfectly good pair of flip flops). I wonder what bob the builder thought when he returned to check his handiwork.
While we're on culture shock, I went to a Thai wedding this week. Very different to a western-style one in some ways, yet similar in other ways. It was obviously something that took a lot of preparation and cost a lot of money that's for sure. Here are the happy couple (Nin and Yui) with all the lovely ladies from our office..
There was no ceremony as such, or at least we didn't get to see one. Apparently they just have a formal signing of the marriage certificate and that happened earlier in the day. There was a very extensive Chinese banquet (Yui is Chinese) followed by a video which was projected onto a giant screen at the end of the hall. The video was a montage of photos of the couple, and a cartoon which described how they met and how their relationship developed. There was also a joint pre-recorded speech by the bride and groom. After the video, the Bride's father made a short speech on stage and the master of ceremonies interviewed the happy couple. That was it. An enjoyable and very interesting evening.

Wifey and Maureen are on the plane as we speak, coming here to cheer me up. I have fizzy wine and cheese in the fridge to make them feel at home. It'll be nice to have company and to show off the swanky new apartment. Still no internet but I do have the telly working. We're off to Koh Chang next Friday for four nights, can't wait.

Be good

Holy War

This is interesting:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8468981.stm

As I read it I got more worried. By the end I could hardly read it because I was shaking my head in disbelief, especially at the blurb from the Trijicon spokesman. I found myself hoping that the company suffers loss of orders as a reaction. Maybe bankruptcy. After that maybe a liberal dose of hanging, drawing and quartering.

It's a sick world. Sick sick sick.