Site Hits - Well done one and all

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Choice? Nah.

On my way home from the gym tonight, I realised I had exactly 31 baht in my pocket, and that there's nothing to eat at home. My favourite street stall does a mean chicken & rice with hot sauce for 30 - result!. Then the heavens opened. Here when it rains I swear you could drown standing up. It's a one kilometre walk from the train to my apartment and there's no cover. I was wearing a t-shirt, shorts and sandals. Bugger. This left me with a choice - get my dinner from the stall, or buy a brolly from one of the many street sellers who spring up from nowhere when it rains. Brolly/dinner/brolly/dinner....hmm, well, you can't eat towels can you?

Night night.

Just for Odette

To Odette:

Oi, Miss Jogger's nipples. There's a midnight run in a couple of weeks on one of the main streets in Bangkok. It's 6k on a flat course, with a police escort. No doubt they'll extort 300 Baht from all the expats for running in the wrong lane, ho ho. Do you think I should have a go? I just did 5k in the gym no problem, mostly uphill. Might give it a go. There's a 12k event too but that's for serious types with more vaseline than sense.

Did you buy a horse by the way?

Be good.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Settle down

I'm still here!

The job has settled down a bit - nobody fired this week. I have clear deadlines and a lot to do, and I've managed to get a week's holiday for when Lyn comes over in late October. We'll probably go back to Saigon, same hotel - loved it.

Since I've been riding the bike to work, I've been going between lanes of traffic fairly constantly - after all, that's the point. I get to work early, the air-conditioned-BMW-chelsea-tractor-radio-2-don't-you-scratch-my-pride-and-joy brigade can only watch as the hours tick by. However, occasionally whilst passing between juggernauts I've wondered what it would feel like to be run over. Well....early the other morning (too early it seems), I misjudged one particular gap between two cars and had to stop, since my left hand clouted one car's wing mirror hard enough to fold it back, and my right hand was fairly close to the other. I braked and put my feet down (I'd only been doing 5mph). Immediately the traffic started moving and I discovered that I'd put my right foot in the path of a tyre. Bump-bump and it was all over. I'd officially beed run over. I can report that it hurts not at all. Hardly a scuff on my new shoes. However I won't be repeating the experiment, having recalibrated my clearances somewhat.

(Bangkok people-carrier - you can see some gap-work happening in my rear view mirror)

Most of the local riders fold their own mirrors in to give them more room for manoeuver, but that just means you can't see behind you. Ah well.

Who want to see something gross? I was on the static bike at the gym the other day and I noticed some people looking at me strangely. It was only then that I realised my attempts to get through the 800-calorie barrier had elicited a little too much perspiration:


For those of you still reading, I can happily report that I burned 813 calories that visit - a feat I defy anyone to better, since I went home feeling that, rather than training, I'd actually competed in some ridiculous endurance event - which of course I had. I now restrict myself to 500 calories per visit. Gosh, I sound like an inverted diet-addict.

Better go. Be good.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Did that really happen?

I refer, of course, to today's stand-out news item, in which the Bulgarian national lottery numbers were identical for two weeks running(Odds 4.6 million to one). Strangely, after nobody winning the first week, 18 people were "incredibly lucky" on week 2. Warms the cockles of your heart dunnit. You have to admire that kind of barefaced cheek. So blatant, it amounts to honesty. "I'm stealing a few million here, watch out!"

Be good, and if you can't, cheat.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Abnormal Service

..has been resumed.

Nearly wasn't though, and in fact I nearly wasn't here to tell you it nearly wasn't.

Sat watching telly last night, having left the puter turned on and skype connected in case wifey said anyhting interesting, when I noticed a burning plastic smell. On investigation I noticed that the power supply for this laptop, which is(was) a noddy Chinese one which I bought on Ebay after leaving the original one on a rig in Invergordon,...where was I? Ah, verb required....was smoking gently and not doing a very good job of powering said puter. I alerted Lyn, who was suddenly less interested in Facebook and convinced my apartment was about to burn down. Quick thinking saved the day and a disaster was averted by me throwing the offending item in a sink full of water. Yes I remembered to unplug it. That left me with about ten seconds of battery life to calm her nerves and log off. This morning I waddled down to Fortune Plaza and bought a noddy Thai one, obviously of higher quality than the Chinese jobby. So here I am with two phones full of photos, three weeks of shenanigans to relate, and a laptop that no longer makes my speakers buzz. Quite honestly I'd rather just listen to music but then the blogs pile up and I feel even more guilty. So here goes..

(Note: don't feel obliged to read this, it's really just my diary and I'll return to it in years to come. Might even show my grandkids.)

(Note: however, if you find it amusing, interesting or even annoying, please tell your mates, and comment at will.)

(Note: enough with the notes, get on with it.)

Now, my last blog of any note(sic) was a rant about bribing Policemen on 17 August. Sheesh, that's a long time ago. A lot has happened in the meantime. I've been home, come back, been to Vietnam and come back. Also work has changed drastically.

Home:
the journey was THIS dull..

On arrival, we went straight to see Colin and had a coffee.
Jeez, I love this photo. Lyn expounds on some theme or other, Colin looks on and wonders what she's blathering on about.

It also transpired that my "Inlaws" (hate that word) were staying on a campsite in Strines for the weekend. Yes they are gypsies. That meant extra pressure on Lyn to have the house ready for visitors, which we had a-plenty for the weekend. The party at my house went very well. About 25 people came and so much happened that it's difficult to do it justice at this distance. What I need is a phone camera that works indoors without a flash. That would give me lots of aides de mémoire, and probably a reputation for taking too many bloody photographs. Anyway, I remember meeting Suzie's bloke Steve - capital fellow, must meet up again, but first I better get some rugby knowledge. I also remember some very good food, which disappeared too fast for me to taste. There was music - both recorded, via my new swanky wireless system, and live via three bodhrans, two unused guitars and a wooden frog. There was twister, played in a modern, PC style with clothes on. Alex was there, ask her. In fact, here's evidence:

Suzie, Lyn, Phil's arse, Sandy and Lucy get all tangled up.Needless to say it all ended horribly.

Lots of people stayed over, in fact the house hasn't been that full since we moved in. No idea who they all were, but nothing went missing, which is a bonus.

Kendal:

Next on the social agenda was a trip to Kendal with Martin & Lucy for Maureen's 30th Birthday party. What a wonderful trip all round. It was Mintfest or some such silliness, and there were loads of street performers, including a guy playing a piano, while similtaneoulsy pedalling it sideways up the main street. I kid you not. Here it is from the back, with his assistant riding a miniature penny farthing in circles while singing folk songs:
Just re-watched that, and must apologise for the sound quality. Damned phone.

That night we went to a cool party and got to meet Maureen's mates. They are a very interesting bunch but unfortunately we'd been to t'pub beforehand and got involved in some alcohol-induced silliness..

..which meant that I only made sense for the first couple of hours of the party. Then the red wine which Maureen graciously provided, kicked in. Most embarrassing, you wait your whole life to be in a party like that, then blow the chance to enjoy it. Mind you, wifey definitely made an impression in her made-to-measure dress from Thailand..
Awful picture but you get the idea - she was stunning.

Bangkok:

Next day we flew back to Thailand with Suzie. Loads of fun taking her to see the local attractions, including the previosly mentioned Nana plaza. This time Grant and John came along, and soon John was involved in a badly-judged game of strip-connect4, which of course he lost and ended up down to his boxers. Here's John with his adversary:
Her name was Sam and she assured me she never loses at connect4. She was also at pains to show us all pictures of her (admittedly very firm) bum, wich she has on her phone. Bizarre. We escaped relatively unharmed.
On special in the local bar:
Saigon:

Soon it was time to get on another plane and head for South Vietnam. I don't have many pics of that weekend in Ho Chi Minh City, since my phone was flat. I did have my spare phone with me and I did take some snaps, but getting them onto the laptop will take some manoeuvering so they will have to appear in a later blog. Suffice to say we visited the famous Cu Chi tunnels and a couple of historic sites, which were very sobering to say the least. Yes I know it's all anti-American propaganda since Vietnam is now a unified communist state, but still, the brutality that humans can inflict on other humans is astonishing, and here it is mercilessly portrayed in photos and memorabilia.

At Cu Chi we were taken on a tour of the area, which is now returning to its original jungle status after being extensively napalmed during the war. Part of the tour is a chance to shoot guns, which horrifies me, but Suzie and Bart had a go. Apparently in Cambodia they let you shoot a bazooka at a cow if you pay them enough, but here it's much better regulated and the guns are bolted down for safety. Suzie lasted about three shots. The rest of us stayed well away, but at the first shot, which was very loud, Lyn burst into tears. Very endearing and a chance for yours truly to be the shoulder to cry on. Rrrrresult!

The actual tunnels have been widened for tourists. They were originally built to be used only by the locals who are extremely small and slim. For once they had an advantage over the larger Americans, and the French who preceded them. We went through a section of tunnel but when they got really small and dark most people took advantage of the escape routes back to the surface. I wanted to try the really narrow crawling bit but wifey had had enough so we exited.

I must say, Saigon is a great place to visit. Gosh, those guys can make coffee. Our hotel (The Majestic) was an old one and very ornate. It had an open air restaurant on the roof, and a lovely pool on the ground floor where we spent some time relaxing, eating, drinking, swimming and playing pool in the poolside bar, if you get my drift. The whole weekend went by in a flash and I can't say enough about the company we had. Six people, some of which had only met in the airport, all got along fantastically. Thanks to you all if you're reading.

Return to Work:

I went back to work a day late, so missed the arrival of the new guys from Perth, come to save the project. Anyway, it took them until Tuesday to begin firing people so I didn't really miss much. I've survived the pogrom, albeit much diminished in stature since the guy who hired me was fired and my mentor Peter has been put on reduced hours. I think I will be ok until th end of the year but beyond that I just don't know. watch this space. Doubtless I'll blog more about this subject in future weeks.



Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Imminence

Large blog on my trip home, Lyn and Suzi's trip to Thailand, and all things South Vietnamese is imminent.

Things included therein: Various parties, way too much food and drink, odious fellow travellers, British weather, Thai weather, squash, pool, youth hostels, bicycle piano's, Kendal Mint Cake, British beer, Thai beer, new boyfriends, caravans, software, hardware, firmware, cows, bazookas, tunnels and so much more.

Patience.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Saigon

Back to Bkk tomorrow, so thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing. Ok I hope? Let me know. Meanwhile I have the following question:

Why is it impossible to enter a quiet bar with a lovely atmosphere, begin chatting, and NOT be suddenly assaulted with a barrage of noise as the sub-standard "entertainment" kicks in?

More of this enlightened guff soon. I will also give full acount of our adventures in the land of the dong.

Be good.