Nuther vid

Just so's you know, another ground-breaking video masterpiece is brewing. I'm in the planning phase - sellotape and lazzy bands everywhere. Intrigued? Good.

Fit? I nearly threw one.

Tonight I went to the gym to do some rowing and some cycling. It was a disappointing trip. Of the three rowing machines, number 1 has never had any resistance since I joined, and now numbers 2 and 3 register no actual information when you row. I moved on to the cycling machines, whereupon I tried three machines before I found one that worked, i.e. the display and the buttons for setting times etc worked. Knowing how things go in Thailand, I can predict that due to my strenuous complaints:

1. The "Technician" will visit and report that all is fine, but in fact nothing will have changed.
2. Nothing else will happen.

I find this aspect of Thailand very difficult. It's one of the best and most expensive Gyms in Bangkok, but the machines are breaking one by one and nothing gets fixed. I think I'll leave. There I said it.

Flee Dink! Flee Foo!

Just walked past the bar/restaurant near the end of my street, which was called Rojo's when I moved in, changed to SPQR for a while, and is now Monsoon, and they offered to feed and water me for nothing. New bar furniture and a new outside bar being unveiled, apparently. It's a place I never go to unless Lyn's here, so I settled for stopping for a chat and making excuses. It's owned and run by a very nice Thai lady, and either her or one of the waitresses always gives me a cheery wave every time I walk by.

Makes me feel like I live here somehow.

Is that good or bad? Who knows.

Be good.

Music, anyone?

I have now grokked the fullness of streaming music on my blog, so you'll all be able to hear what I'm on about if, for instance, I say something like "I had the disappointing experience of buying an album on the strength of a promising track I heard on the radio, only to find that the album was not to my taste. I won't name the album but here's the track I liked..." Yacht - The Afterlife

I do hope that worked, or you'll be looking at the screen in some confusion now. If it did, then do yourself a favour and check out the two similar buttons towards the end of my last post. You'll thank me, honestly.

Thoughts

While I wait for wifey to find my short story - which by the way is probably going to disappoint everyone - I'll fill the pregnant pause with some thoughts.

I'm thinking that some charity work would be a good direction to go in, once I get off this gravy train and go back to blighty. Anyone else interested in some kind of sponsored event? A walk? A bike ride? I'm not volunteering to organise anything but there must be loads going on in the UK that you can join in with. Must look into it.

My new "Kindle" e-reader has now arrived at home, and Lyn has the moral dilemma of whether to bring it here next week or to make me wait for Christmas. No idea what she'll do. Amazon have now done deals with phone companies in 100 countries including the UK, so their "Whispernet" technology will work. That means if I'm in one of those countries I can download any book from their library onto my Kindle in 60 seconds, and all I pay for is the book, at less than stock price. Pretty cool in my opinion. It will hold 1500 books in memory as well. The network doesn't exist in Thailand but I can still use my Amazon account online and transfer to the Kindle via USB.

Rainy season still hasn't properly ended here yet, despite me announcing its demise several times. Rumour has it that the end of the month will be the last of it. I'm a bit tired of getting wet shoes on the way to work, and also I'll welcome the slightly cooler temperatures of the winter months (26-30 until next March). My electricity bills will fall as well. Meanwhile quite a few electrical storms have gone over during the last few nights and I've even had to close the curtains to get some sleep. Normally I like the soft light of the city but bright flashes are a bit distracting when I'm trying to have nice dreams.

Conversation with a Thai person:

Me: What's Thai for a hundred?
Thai: Loi
Me: How do you spell that?
Thai: R-O-I
Me: But that spells Roi
Thai: Yes that's it.
Me: But you said Loi
Thai: Yes
Me: That's L-O-I
Thai: No, R-O-I
Me: No, that's Roi
Thai: Yes that's it.
Me: But...

And on, and on, and on...

One of our main Thai engineers, Nin, is absent this week - he's being a monk. Seriously, young Thai people, whether optionally or mandatorily (bad word) sometimes go off to a Buddhist temple and take care not to kill anything for ten days or so. I wonder if he'll be a changed man when he returns? Maybe he'll do some wicked kung fu or something. Maybe I've seen to many movies. If he comes back with a shaved head and wearing orange robes it will be funny.

I haven't seen much in the way of devout Buddhism here - they all eat meat for a start. Mind you, they have a fairly pragmatic approach to most things, even the law. If the police are out stopping people for traffic offences, fair enough they catch a few. Next day, same bobby on a different duty, you can ride past him on a one-way street at 420kph with no hat on, sitting side-saddle with three 18-month-olds hanging onto the pillion seat and he'll give you a cheery wave. Bizarre. This goes right through all walks of life. If there's a way to do something, no matter what rule it breaks, why wouldn't you do it? We westerners stare aghast and splutter about "rules being rules", but it just confuses them. Culture shock. In our canteen area at work there's a dart board on the wall. Someone pointed out that the place where you would stand to throw the darts is not visible as you walk past the board. Potential dart-in-lug-hole disaster, so a notice was put on the board "Out of service", until such time as they find a more suitable location. Anyway a week later the board is still there, and the Thais regularly take down the notice, have a few games, and replace the notice when finished. Seems odd to us, and to safety-conscious type it would be scary, but you'd be met with blank stares and incomprehension if you complained about it.

Let's see now, what else can I blather on about? Ah, music. I've bought several new albums this week and I can tell you the following:

The album "Checkmate Savage" by a Scottish band called "The Phantom Band" is well worth a listen. "Thorwing Bones", the obvious single, is a proper classic driving track. Phantom band - Throwing Bones
Just as Scottish are the band "Money Can't Buy Music", who have an album called "The Universe for Beginners" which I'm currently listening to with some pleasure. I've never heard Keppler's laws in a song lyric before. Here's my fave track... MCBM - beautifulgirlssunnyledges (That's how it's written on the sleeve, honestly)
Um, what else? I just bought some French Gypsy music but I'll give that a good listen before recommending it here. Also an American folk singer called Alela Diane caught my ear this week, news on that to follow. I'm currently trying to work out how to assail you with different music each time you log in, but it's beyond me at present.

Be good.

Cream Crackered

Had a game of squash with my new mate Terry today. Excellent, despite breaking a racket (NOT in anger, honestly). He also brought along an Australian lady called Belinda, who gave me a right old tonking. Mind you, I was already tired from playing Terry, and I was using a borrowed racket....Anyway, the upshot is (see what I did there?) I'm fairly pooped. I can imagine the scene as I try to escape the gravity well of my bed tomorrow morning, with a back that's about as supple as an angle poise lamp.

Terry's dog, "Jet". very cute.

In other (sligtly belated) news, I now have six made-to-measure shirts and one pair of trousers. Absolutely useless to me but they look smart. (That last word should be given with the full scouse treatment to match what was in my head when I typed it). Spare a thought for poor old Bart, who made a similar order, but after six visits for refits, had to settle for three shirts, since they had made the others too small and had run out of meterial. I was there when he suggested they take them in "a bit", and they did pin them while he was wearing them, but somehow between then and fitting they got two inches smaller across the chest. He looked like he was trying to fit into his younger brother's shirt.

I wrote a short story once, many years ago - in fact it was in the year I got married, 2002. Anyway regardless of its vintage, I was considering putting it on here. Since there are enough of you visiting each day to represent an audience, I thought I'd give you all the choice. Post or not post?  Please let me know your thoughts. The other thing I have to do is find the word document, which might be tricky since seven years represents quite a few clearouts from my hard drive. Certainly it's not on this PC, but I'm hoping (if you vote to post, of course) that wifey will find it on my PC at home.

Currently I'm sat watching Lyn work. Interesting take on the artistic process. To the layman it seems very much like the engineering process - flurries of activity followed by long periods of staring at the monstrous creation as it evolves. Mostly she's out of shot, since the camera faces her desk chair, obviously. However she seems to return to the chair for her periods of cogitation. I can hear her moving around, also the clinking of paint brushes. Really quite exciting, waiting to see what she'll produce. I wonder if it's the same for her when I'm working? Nah, didn't think so.

I ate this. Yumbalicious.

Be good.

I Hate Bad Science

Read this article, then come back here for a good old rant.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8307024.stm

Have you read it? Right, here's what I hate about it: It's total bollocks.

"Scientists" have hit upon a statistic that there's less illness in greener areas. Naturally, being bad scientists, they reverse cause and effect, and conclude that the trees are beneficial to general health. Hey presto, we have a dangerously wrong conclusion which, when endorsed by the good old BBC, will have all the ill people (and their carers) moving to the nearest rural area. This will, of course, dilute the statistic and make the scientists think again, but by then it'll be too late and there will be lots of people wondering why they feel no better than before.

Here's an alternative theory: people with habits (or occupations) that cause illness tend to live in urban areas.

This could be by choice:

-They have access to whatever drugs made them ill.
-Health care is better in urban areas - hospitals, social workers.

Or by circumstance:

-Thier parents (often abusive) live there.
-They work there.

The above article is chock-full of stats, all very impressive, and all open to misinterpretation if you do as these people do and use the numbers to prove an existing theory. I ask you, how desperate would you have to be to put this sort of spin on your results?

Here's an example:

The researchers also showed that this relation was strongest for children younger than 12.


They were 21% less likely to suffer from depression in the greener areas.

How about this: their parents, a much more likely cause of their depression, prefer urban life, because that's where they were brought up themselves. Nothing to do with the damned trees, Mr PhD.

I'm off.

Dreamboat

I have a new love in my life, and her name is Terry Watkins.

Tonight's squash game couldn't have been better. I feel like I've been dragged through a hedge and kicked back over by an angry cow. Mind you, they do say if you feel better for a game of squash, you haven't played it right.

Terry is either slightly better or not quite as good as me, depending if you take the first or second game as evidence. The third game ended half way through because he's not as fit as me. All in all it's by far the best game I've had since leaving the UK. And even better, he plays guitar and wants to start a band. I'm so excited I could paradiddle on the spot. I have another game lined up for saturday afternoon, followed by dinner with him and his missus - get me, the big socialite.

In other news,  it's three weeks today till wifey sets out for these shores. Things are looking up.

I have a fitting session tomorrow for my five shirts and one trouser, news of that event to appear on this very blog.

Be good.

Shirtiness

Got my made-to-measure shirt...

(yes yes I know, not the right trousers)

..And I'm impressed enough to order five more, plus some kecks. Well, they are cheap.

Positive comments only please, and remember the male ego is very fragile.

Be good.

Ratings

If you're one of the ten people who've logged in during the last 24 hours (indeed if you're one person who's logged on ten times {you sad git}) then thanks.

Lucy, I'm going to try to be less grumpy in future. The problem is, I actually enjoy noticing people's idiosyncracies. In short, it's fun being grumpy. However if you want me to be full of sunshine and smiles (which will make me as miserable as sin) then so be it.

Things are looking up at work - I even have hopes of being sent offshore next January to help with commissioning. There's also the Bangladesh job at some point in the future (yes, that one). All in all, if I keep my nose clean I think I can stay employed at least until the UK job scene picks up a bit. By all the signs, or at least the ones I can see, that won't be too far off. Actually I just got my multiple-entry Visa sorted out for the next twelve months.

A few people have mentioned coming over to Bangkok for a break, which is great - I get to be the local expert and show them the city. I can help them avoid the pitfalls (careful with tuk-tuks, most of the girls are boys, etc etc) and also suggest the best places to go and see. I might even find out a bit (more) about the city myself, since I'm really poor at sightseeing. Having someone here who's actually interested in stuff will help a lot.

While we're on sightseeing, I took a trip to the Baiyoke Tower the other evening, for a meal with the Thai engineers from the office. It's the tallest building in Thailand and it has a revolving viewing platform on the 84th floor. It also has a nice international restaurant on the 78th floor, which is why we went. Lots of interesting food, and the deal is "All you can eat" for 470 baht - about a tenner. I really must take wifey there when she comes over next time, she'd love it. The views over Bangkok are great, although I found the revolving platform, which is open-air, a little unnerving. It rumbles and creaks a bit, and also for some (typically bizarre) reason the Thai builders have installed a PA system which plays out birdsong constantly while you're taking in the views. If I was grumpy I'd point out that this is unnecessary and rather irritating, but I'm happy and sunny so I'll pretend I loved it.

While we're on unnecessary, I went with a few of the guys to a tailor on Sukhumvit Road for a fitted shirt. I've never had anything made to measure and here it's quite cheap, so why not eh? Anyway I just ordered one for now, and if it's good, I'll get some more. The shirt will be ready for fitting tomorrow and I'll report back, possibly with photographs. Depends how bad I look. Some of the materials were a little Pyjama-ish. Yes yes not a real word. I chose a nice safe white colour with a dark blue pinstripe. I also avoided some of the more flamboyant style choices - double cufffs, silly wing collars etc. Unfortunately this particular tailor seems to concentrate on business type shirts so the choice of materials wasn't great. Next time I'll go to one with psychedelic flower materials. That'll please the missus.

I mentioned the new visa - thereby hangs a tale. I knew that today the agency I work for would send someone to the visa office to do all the form-filling and wait in all the queues for me. Gosh, I'm so pampered. Anyway, I completely forgot about it and left my current work permit and passport in the apartment. No problem, while the lady waited in the queue, our driver (Khun "A") could nip back to my apartment, get the docs off the table and be back withing an hour. I handed over my keys, and some instructions (passport is red, work permit is blue, both are on the table as you walk in) and went back to work, secure in the knowledge that my affairs were being sorted out for me with minimal effort on my part. An hour later, Khun "A" was back with..... my passport and my offshore safety booklet. Now, granted, the safety booklet is blue and it was on the table, but so was the bloody work permit. He must have shoved the right item aside to get to the wrong item, for heaven's sake. I resolved to smile through the pain, and respectfully suggest he make another round trip. This he did, and got it right second time. Meanwhile Khun Kay, the lady in the queue, was practically hairless at the delay. The office for visas hapens to be in our building - hurrah! But it's in tower 2 while we're in tower 1 - booo! I only had to go down to the lobby, walk across the plaza, and take the lift to the 16th floor - hurrah! But I went to the 15th and got completely lost - boooo! I eventually arrived in the right place with all requisite docs, only half a day late.

While we're on (or in) the lobby, I've got into the habit of buying coffee from the rather swish cafe in ours. Silly really, when I could just walk outside to any one of half a dozen street sellers and get more for less. Note to self - be adventurous with coffe purchases henceforward. Reply to self - but it's so hot outside, and the nice lady smiles at me and knows my order (simper). Note to self - don't be fooled, she knows you're a mug who'll pay double the going rate.

Going now. I'll blog the result of my game on wednesday, which as mentioned I'm quite chuffed about.

Be good

Signs

Couple of photos for you:

Loved the English, hated the closure.

 

My cosy corner at work - I hope you can read the sign. I got tired of interruptions so resorted to grumpiness. Well I am old after all.

To all Thai phone-users: either don't answer while you're walking, or learn to walk in a straight line whilst talking. A reasonable pace would also be welcome. I've now taken to shouting "OI!" exremely loudly when they meander into my path, and if ignored, barging past with a "Tut!" and a shake of the head. Very grumpy behaviour. The scary thing is, they do it while driving as well. If their sense of direction when walking is anything to go by, the accident rate can only go up. I give them plenty of room when I'm on the bike, that's for sure. Maybe I should get a loud exhaust like Bart's, for extra road-presence. Just in the name of safety, you understand...

In other news, today was the coolest day since last February, and I loved it. I walked the length of Soi 8 without breaking into a sweat. Actually that's a lie - I was picked up by our tuk-tuk half way along. The place will be much more comfortable between now and March, so if anyone's thinking of a trip....

In other news, I have a game lined up with someone who (I'm reliably informed) can play squash properly. This is big news, enormous news, stupendous news. I hope he lives up to expectations. I've been playing weekly with two of the chaps from work but I really miss being regularly played off court for Glossop Squash second team. Ahh, those were the days. I recently got the team sheets for this season's first game sent to me via email - pangs of homesickness set in straight away - and It's the same guys playing, 15 months after I left. Funny how you expect everything to have changed when you've been abroad a while, and somehow disappointing when you discover it hasn't. I've no doubt I'll get the usual "Oh, have you been away?" when I finally get back there.

Off to bed now - I've been to the gym and have to be up early for another day of fending off interruptions.

Be good.