Stuck in Blighty

Seems I'm going to be here a while so better talk about something.

As we go to press, both airports at Bangkok are blocked with yellow shirted hoolay henlies, calling themselves "The Peoples's Alliance for Democracy" and hell-bent on bringing down said democracy. Comical really. They presumably voted in the last elections, but they don't like the resulting government because it lines the wrong pockets. All this is fine by me, if a little immature, but right now it's stopping me getting back to work, and that's not on. Nuke 'em, I say.

Perhaps the red-shirted pro-government mob will turn up and we'll have a giant bun-fight for the future of the country.

In other news, I've had a good time this week re-connecting with my homies. I've shipped more beer/wine/spirits this week than I did in the previous three months and consequently I feel like something the cat dragged in. Must get an exercise regime going. I miss my gym and pool, and mid-twenties temperatures.

In other news, I sold my UK drums. Sad but necessary, and I'll bring my good ones home when I finish in Thailand.

In other news, it's actually harder to work in the same time-zone as your friends. Emails, facebook messages, texts all get answered virtually straight away instead of waiting for the message-ee to wake up. Consequently I seem to be spending an inordinate amount of time having cyber-conversations and very little time actually working. Pete, if you're reading, that's a joke. Mostly.

Jet Lag Hell

Well now isn't this peachy. It's 7.45 on Sunday morning and already I've been up for half an hour, creeping round the house trying not to wake Lyn/Emma/Cheese/Onion, who are quite correctly having a sound sleep to catch up on the week's excesses. I was unable to keep my eyes open after ten last night, and not just because of the quality of the TV programmes. This will probably continue until I get back to "My own" time zone. I conked out in the pub on Friday as well, despite several pints of stimulant...

To finish the "snot saga", my nose stopped running minutes after I left Helsinki airport, bizarrely. No cold after all. I presume the flight from Bangkok had something in the air system to kill bugs, which affected my sensitive olfactory system. I still hated the christmas decorations though. Sniff.

Ah well, since I'm sat with a PC for company I suppose I better do some work.. Pete, if you're reading, HELP! I need stuff from the ofice! See your email inbox.

Be good.

Cold

Well no sooner had I put my bony arse on the seat of my Finnair flight from Bangkok (27 deg C) to Helsinki (-6 deg C), than my nose turned into a hose and began to stream with a sticky clear(ish) liquid, which from memory I believe is called "snot". I probably don't need to say this but I´m gutted to put it mildly. If this is what Europe´s like you can stick it.

I´m now in Helsinki and I can think of nothing to say about it, except that I´m leaving in one hour. There are Christmas decorations everywhere as well, joy of joys.

I´m off to find tissues.

Stop Press! Fire!

Don't tell anyone but I think I left the iron on in my cabin.

As I left it....



Shortly after...



Later, firebugs...

Tick Tick Tick

Bag is packed, hours early. Now I'm at a loss for something to do. What better reason to type out some drivel for my thousands of readers.

I fly at half past midnight, but it's only 730pm and it takes about 50 minutes to get to the airport. Hmm let's see, that gives me about three hours to wait. How much twaddle can I produce in that time? Lots.

Let me have a rummage around my photo folder....nah, not much there I'm afraid. There's this one:


.. of Rojo's, a cocktail bar where Lyn and I have spent many a happy, er, happy hour drinking whisky sour/pina colada/long island iced tea and watching the world go by.

Or there's this:


..of a Thai bloke in a blue hat selling tickling sticks.

Or there's these:



..which prove that some traffic cops can carry off the all-black/jack boots/surgical mask look better than others.

Or this:


..which is nothing more than my attempt at an arty photo.

And finally this:


..which is the view from my desk.

Sorry it's such a lot of crap. I need a new thread to follow, something to set the imagination alight. Watch this space. Meanwhile an hour has gone by and my trip home is just a little nearer.

Here are a nice pair of bookends:

..at the lantern procession in 2007. Ahhh, memories of New Mills (sob).

I'll be in the Beehive tomorrow (Friday) from about 7pm if anyone wants some beer.

Be good.

Millionaires Club

New one - I'm apparently £750k richer.

************************
20081114 From : Hares, Loic

Dear Lucky Winner

We wish to congratulate and inform you On the selection
today,your email has won you the sum of £750,000.00 GBP
in our online email lottery in which e-mail addresses
are picked randomly by computerized balloting, you must
contact the appointed agent Mr Mark Johnson.Fill out the
form below Ticket no: 56475600545 188 for more clearification.

***********************
And the situation as it stands:



Come on guys, are we the only lucky ones out there? Join the millionaires club, flaunt your wealth.

Cheating death in the Gulf

As Sam Gamgee said after his adventure, "Well, I'm home".

To start with, a few illicit pictures - not really allowed to use cameras on rigs - dunno if it's the flash risk or just security, and I never asked.

View from the computer room window - very exciting.



Bart plugs us in - wait for the bang...



Benchamas - my home for the weekend.



Sunset in the Thai Gulf.



Doesn't look like it, but a storm is coming.



Leaving. The yelllow circle on the boat deck is where they landed the glorified rope ladder on a crane which they refer to as a personnel carrier. Lots of fun.



More sunset. The "Tanker" at the front is an FPSO, moored to the sea bed by the large contraption at the prow. It acts as a production rig. The second tanker is there to take oil away.

On the boat, watching them, watching telly. I sat here for 7 hours.


The story of my weekend:
I was picked up from my apartment at 6am on Friday, by a monosyllabic driver in an ancient Merc, and driven the 2-hour trip to the airport in sullen silence. I nodded off - there, I told you it was exciting. On arrival at the tiny airfield I was told it was "sample day", where everyone is given a plastic tub to take to the toilet and pee into. (which brings on a digression - I once heard of a chap who had a vasectomy, and after bringing back a sperm sample, was told "oh thanks but we only wanted urine." Excruciating or what?) So anyway, there I was with my warm tub trying to look like I do this every day, when the bloke gives me two smaller bottles and asks me to split the sample between them, AT THE CHECK-IN DESK. Bizarre - why not give me the two small ones in the first place and let me disappear to the bogs for some privacy? Luckily I didn't spill a drop, which is miraculous for a man with no triangulation. Getting wine from bottle to glass is a challenge for me.

So after a safety briefing, I followed the crowd to the chopper. Ten were boarding, and when the co-pilot asked if anyone was flying for the first time, only I put my hand up. Not actually true - I was flown to the rig off the coast of Angola by chopper 5 years ago, but I have a special talent for remembering irrelevant details and forgetting important facts. So they sat me in the centre of the cabin, away from the emergency exits, presumably in case I pulled any handles out of curiosity. This ensured I was in a cramped position for the our-long flight with nothing to look at except the few instruments I could glimpse between the pilot's and co-pilot's seats, and their body language. Needless to say my lower back began to ache and I squirmed and fidgeted for the whole flight, to the annoyance of the large Scottish gorilla on my right and the emaciated Mancunian on my left.(or is that port and starboard?)

It was, at the time, good weather for flying so I was in fairly good condition when we landed at Benchamas field. I proceeded to work three days of 12-hour shifts, sharing a 4-berth cabin with three extremely quiet and polite Thai engineers. There's really very little to do on a rig, so I found myself in bed every night before 9pm, reading or watching DVD's on my laptop.

The work went well and we (me and my new mate Bart) got our system up and running, and connected it to the existing system without causing any loss of production, thereby avoiding walking the plank or being shot.

On the fourth day we were scheduled to board the 3pm chopper back to shore. However, it so happened that a tropical storm was approaching from the north west, so Chevron's much-practised emergency evacuation drill was swinging into action like a well-oiled, er, oil rig. This meant chaos, basically.

In situations like this, it always rankles that any American nationals are whisked out of danger first, leaving us lesser mortals to slum it on the slow boats.

We waited all day for our boat to arrive, while periodically listening to "our chopper" come and go, filled with fat, privileged prima donnas. I was of course calm and measured - being a representative of the Australian company I'm contracted to - but inside I was raging. I'm not used to being a second class citizen and I don't suppose I ever will be.

Our boat eventually arrived at 5.30pm, by which time we had been subjected to 7 hours in the TV room watching incomprehensible Thai TV at high volume, interspersed with the over-excited antics of the Thais around the pool table. They are good-natured people, always ready to smile and laugh, but my sense of humour had somehow flown off with the last Sikorsky.

Boarding the boat was fun - they use a circular contraption like a kids' climbing frame, hanging by a long rope from a crane, the idea being to cling to the outside of it, while it is lifted and dropped onto the boat deck. The boat deck was 30 metres below the platform deck so much potential for swinging, but luckily the winds were light at that time. Nobody fell off, anyway.

The boat trip took 7 hours, and was similar to a bus-ride I suppose, if said bus happened to take a prolonged detour through 80 miles of fields which had at some point been used as artillery practice.

Chevron had booked us into a hotel and laid on supper for us all, which Bart and I augmented with a couple of cold Heinekens, to the disgust of the Thais, who were going back to the rig as soon as the storm cleared so could not drink.

I should have mentioned that drugs, alcohol and oil rigs don't mix, hence the piss-tests. If found with anything untoward in the bloodstream, they would never work for Chevron again. We, on the other hand, were off back to BKK in the morning, so happy days, glug glug.

That's about it really. We were picked up next morning and driven home to spend a day sleeping, ready for the office tomorrow.

I'll blog again soon.

Be good.

Rig

I'll be on a rig for the next four days so there will be a gap in transmissions. When I come back I'll decide which way to go on the crossword front. They are time-consuming to put together, not relevant to BKK and alienate those who don't like them. However, they are fun....

I've heard it's stormy out in the Gulf at present, and been warned that I'll need my sea-legs, whatever they are.

More on Tuesday, including "how I survived without the internet for a whole long weekend". I do have Mr Rushdie's "Midnight's Children" with me, a thumping good read I might add. I've also, to give some light and shade, packed my Battlestar Galactica DVD's. Don't groan.

Be good.

Crossword2 - 7

Today's "Prize for Peerless Pedantry" goes to Lyn for pointing out the crapness of my clue for 45 down.

Well done punters - another crozzy gets crumpled and binned:
Final scores:

Denise 1 answer
Lyn 13 answers
Odette 17 answers
Sandy 26 answers
Alex 17 answers



Can I get back to normal blogging now? I mean whinging and complaining about boredom and ohmsickness?

Crossword2 - 6

Well, Alex has come with a late charge, even giving one answer when there wasn't a clue. I'm so proud of my daughter for answering all the hard ones Sandy left, that I nearly decided to award double points. However, since she appeared to get bored two-thirds of the way down I held off.

Denise 1 answer
Lyn 10 answers
Odette 17 answers
Sandy 26 answers
Alex 17 answers

There are only three clues left so once agagin Sandy can't be caught, but there is a dead heat for second place so I'd still like the answers please...



ACROSS:
63. Can be flat, toe-clip or SPuD.(6)

DOWN:
44. Ah, the sound of these on a frosty winters morning. I miss it.(7)
45. Borrow, colloquial.(4)

Crossword2 - 5

Sandy whips up his mount and overtakes on the stand rail..
Come on guys don't let him have another sloppy kiss.

Sandy, wrong on 45 down. See, he's not infallible!

Lynny, stop scaring the punters.

Denise 1 answer
Lyn 10 answers
Odette 17 answers
Sandy 26 answers



ACROSS:
6. Dismal.(4)
32. Possibly one time too many.(3,5)
35. Like this clue.(6)
37. Agreement from an individual.(6)
39. Cruel.(8)
42. For geeks: invert the following logic.(3)
47. Ancient hill. Lots of these in New Mills.(3)
52. Become 30 across.(3)
63. Can be flat, toe-clip or SPuD.(6)

DOWN:
7. Eye discharge.(5)
8. The seat of consciousness.(4)
11. Not from heaven.(7)
17. They can be wild, chosen or bit-of-a.(4)
22. "A dark and hungry God ------", Stephen Donaldson novel.(6)
28. Slang word for power or influence.(5)
34. Make sterile.(6)
44. Ah, the sound of these on a frosty winters morning. I miss it.(7)
45. Borrow, colloquial.(4)
46. Ate.(5)

Crossword2 - 4

Sandy wades in...but wrong about 60 down and the geek one.

He nearly takes the lead but a steward's enquiry awards one extra point to Odette for "EMU".

Odette how am I supposed to spot typo's? If you sent a typo into the Times prize crossword, would you get the fifty quid? Eh? Eh? Just for complaining, I'm crediting the correct answer to Lynny. Only joking.

Denise 1 answer
Lyn 10 answers
Odette 17 answers
Sandy 15 answers

ACROSS:
6. Dismal.(4)
16. For geeks: ctrl+z.(4)
32. Possibly one time too many.(3,5)
35. Like this clue.(6)
37. Agreement from an individual.(6)
39. Cruel.(8)
42. For geeks: invert the following logic.(3)
47. Ancient hill. Lots of these in New Mills.(3)
52. Become 30 across.(3)
54. Female dancer.(4)
58. Blues legend, aka McKinley Morganfield.(5,6)
63. Can be flat, toe-clip or SPuD.(6)

DOWN:
3. Grounds.(8)
4. Irish indy rock band.(3)
7. Eye discharge.(5)
8. The seat of consciousness.(4)
11. Not from heaven.(7)
14. Zombies do this repeatedly.(6,2,3)
17. They can be wild, chosen or bit-of-a.(4)
22. "A dark and hungry God ------", Stephen Donaldson novel.(6)
23. Young people.(6)
28. Slang word for power or influence.(5)
29. Can be King, dirty or shithouse.(3)
34. Make sterile.(6)
40. Female pronoun.(3)
44. Ah, the sound of these on a frosty winters morning. I miss it.(7)
45. Borrow, colloquial.(4)
46. Ate.(5)
49. Thermal containers.(6)
60. Stash of money, colloquial.(3)

Crossword2 - 4

One more to add - sorry Odette, lyn got the one you've been close to.

Denise 1 answer
Lyn 10 answers
Odette 16 answers


ACROSS:
6. Dismal.(4)
16. For geeks: .(4)
18. --- Wallach, Ugly from "The Good, the bad and the Ugly".(3)
19. Andrew Lloyd's partner.(3)
20. We say "Less" when we should say "-----",(5)
23. Me? no.(3)
31. Employ.(3)
32. Possibly one time too many.(3,5)
35. Like this clue.(6)
37. Agreement from an individual.(6)
39. Cruel.(8)
42. For geeks: invert the following logic.(3)
43. Large, flightless bird. Not you, lynny.(3)
44. Required for endurance sports, and for compiling crosswords.(7)
47. Ancient hill. Lots of these in New Mills.(3)
48. Three of these made a terrible racket then went back to opera.(3)
49. Language of Iran.(5)
52. Become 30 across.(3)
54. Female dancer.(4)
58. Blues legend, aka McKinley Morganfield.(5,6)
63. Can be flat, toe-clip or SPuD.(6)
64. In a short while.(4)

DOWN:
3. Grounds.(8)
4. Irish indy rock band.(3)
7. Eye discharge.(5)
8. The seat of consciousness.(4)
11. Not from heaven.(7)
14. Zombies do this repeatedly.(6,2,3)
15. Variety of Tree.(3)
17. They can be wild, chosen or bit-of-a.(4)
22. "A dark and hungry God ------", Stephen Donaldson novel.(6)
23. Young people.(6)
28. Slang word for power or influence.(5)
29. Can be King, dirty or shithouse.(3)
33. Pole.(5)
34. Make sterile.(6)
40. Female pronoun.(3)
44. Ah, the sound of these on a frosty winters morning. I miss it.(7)
45. Borrow, colloquial.(4)
46. Ate.(5)
49. Thermal containers.(6)
50. To compost.(3)
53. Flammable moss.(4)
55. Norse god.(4)
59. Can be lucky, sheep or salsa.(3)
60. Stash of money, colloquial.(3)

Crossword2 - 3

Hey everyone, meet Denise. She's shy so be nice. I met Denise while working in Sweden and she made me love her forever by giving me her Bjork ticket.

Scores:

Denise 1 answer
Lyn 9 answers
Odette 16 answers

Where are the other big hitters, Alex and Sandy? I await bumper emails from both.

O, you're still close on 10 across. Keep trying.
L, wrong on 37 across and O beat you by 23 minutes on 9 down.

I've amended the clue for 54 across - wrong number of letters, sorry.



ACROSS:
6. Dismal.(4)
10. Pull this when telling tall tales.(3,5,3)
16. For geeks: .(4)
18. --- Wallach, Ugly from "The Good, the bad and the Ugly".(3)
19. Andrew Lloyd's partner.(3)
20. We say "Less" when we should say "-----",(5)
23. Me? no.(3)
31. Employ.(3)
32. Possibly one time too many.(3,5)
35. Like this clue.(6)
37. Agreement from an individual.(6)
39. Cruel.(8)
42. For geeks: invert the following logic.(3)
43. Large, flightless bird. Not you, lynny.(3)
44. Required for endurance sports, and for compiling crosswords.(7)
47. Ancient hill. Lots of these in New Mills.(3)
48. Three of these made a terrible racket then went back to opera.(3)
49. Language of Iran.(5)
52. Become 30 across.(3)
54. Female dancer.(4)
58. Blues legend, aka McKinley Morganfield.(5,6)
63. Can be flat, toe-clip or SPuD.(6)
64. In a short while.(4)

DOWN:
3. Grounds.(8)
4. Irish indy rock band.(3)
7. Eye discharge.(5)
8. The seat of consciousness.(4)
11. Not from heaven.(7)
14. Zombies do this repeatedly.(6,2,3)
15. Variety of Tree.(3)
17. They can be wild, chosen or bit-of-a.(4)
22. "A dark and hungry God ------", Stephen Donaldson novel.(6)
23. Young people.(6)
28. Slang word for power or influence.(5)
29. Can be King, dirty or shithouse.(3)
33. Pole.(5)
34. Make sterile.(6)
40. Female pronoun.(3)
44. Ah, the sound of these on a frosty winters morning. I miss it.(7)
45. Borrow, colloquial.(4)
46. Ate.(5)
49. Thermal containers.(6)
50. To compost.(3)
53. Flammable moss.(4)
55. Norse god.(4)
59. Can be lucky, sheep or salsa.(3)
60. Stash of money, colloquial.(3)

Crossword2_2

Odette leaps to an early lead, since nobody else has noticed the new one yet.

O, your answers for 10,23,43,52, 63 across, and 7,33,55 down are wrong. In one case you were very close.

Odette: 13 answers.

Latest:


Clues:
ACROSS:
1. Dull, lacking colour.(4)
6. Dismal.(4)
10. Pull this when telling tall tales.(3,5,3)
13. Ubiquitous trouser press.(5)
16. For geeks: .(4)
18. --- Wallach, Ugly from "The Good, the bad and the Ugly".(3)
19. Andrew Lloyd's partner.(3)
20. We say "Less" when we should say "-----",(5)
21. An easy one, to begin.(5)
23. Me? no.(3)
24. Puts back to default settings.(6)
31. Employ.(3)
32. Possibly one time too many.(3,5)
35. Like this clue.(6)
37. Agreement from an individual.(6)
39. Cruel.(8)
42. For geeks: invert the following logic.(3)
43. Large, flightless bird. Not you, lynny.(3)
44. Required for endurance sports, and for compiling crosswords.(7)
47. Ancient hill. Lots of these in New Mills.(3)
48. Three of these made a terrible racket then went back to opera.(3)
49. Language of Iran.(5)
51. Trick.(3)
52. Become 30 across.(3)
54. Female dancer.(3)
58. Blues legend, aka McKinley Morganfield.(5,6)
63. Can be flat, toe-clip or SPuD.(6)
64. In a short while.(4)

DOWN:
1. Paint in a slapdash fashion.(4)
3. Grounds.(8)
4. Irish indy rock band.(3)
7. Eye discharge.(5)
8. The seat of consciousness.(4)
9. Medieval weapon.(4)
11. Not from heaven.(7)
12. "Tarka curry, it's like chicken but it's -----" - my favourite joke.(5)
14. Zombies do this repeatedly.(6,2,3)
15. Variety of Tree.(3)
17. They can be wild, chosen or bit-of-a.(4)
22. "A dark and hungry God ------", Stephen Donaldson novel.(6)
23. Young people.(6)
25. When we'll be there. Abbreviation.(3)
26. Test.(11)
28. Slang word for power or influence.(5)
29. Can be King, dirty or shithouse.(3)
33. Pole.(5)
34. Make sterile.(6)
38. Ingest.(3)
40. Female pronoun.(3)
44. Ah, the sound of these on a frosty winters morning. I miss it.(7)
45. Borrow, colloquial.(4)
46. Ate.(5)
49. Thermal containers.(6)
50. To compost.(3)
53. Flammable moss.(4)
55. Norse god.(4)
57. Deserve, as in respect.(4)
59. Can be lucky, sheep or salsa.(3)
60. Stash of money, colloquial.(3)

Nuvver crossword

This one's harder, but you'll probably finish it in a blink, just like the last one.

Clues:
ACROSS:
1. Dull, lacking colour.(4)
3. Seafaring thief.(6)
6. Dismal.(4)
9. River and national park in Kenya.(4)
10. Pull this when telling tall tales.(3,5,3)
13. Ubiquitous trouser press.(5)
16. For geeks: .(4)
18. --- Wallach, Ugly from "The Good, the bad and the Ugly".(3)
19. Andrew Lloyd's partner.(3)
20. We say "Less" when we should say "-----",(5)
21. An easy one, to begin.(5)
23. Me? no.(3)
24. Puts back to default settings.(6)
27. Cup-holders, rarely used unless to give tea to a dog.(7)
30. Unwell.(3)
31. Employ.(3)
32. Possibly one time too many.(3,5)
35. Like this clue.(6)
37. Agreement from an individual.(6)
39. Cruel.(8)
42. For geeks: invert the following logic.(3)
43. Large, flightless bird. Not you, lynny.(3)
44. Required for endurance sports, and for compiling crosswords.(7)
45. Concocted, as in beer.(6)
47. Ancient hill. Lots of these in New Mills.(3)
48. Three of these made a terrible racket then went back to opera.(3)
49. Language of Iran.(5)
51. Trick.(3)
52. Become 30 across.(3)
54. Female dancer.(3)
56. Can be past, present, future or nervous.(5)
58. Blues legend, aka McKinley Morganfield.(5,6)
61. Corrosion.(4)
62. ---- to self: write better clues.(4)
63. Can be flat, toe-clip or SPuD.(6)
64. In a short while.(4)

DOWN:
1. Paint in a slapdash fashion.(4)
2. Can be salted, hot, or "I can't believe it's not".(6)
3. Grounds.(8)
4. Irish indy rock band.(3)
5. Listening device.(3)
7. Eye discharge.(5)
8. The seat of consciousness.(4)
9. Medieval weapon.(4)
11. Not from heaven.(7)
12. "Tarka curry, it's like chicken but it's -----" - my favourite joke.(5)
14. Zombies do this repeatedly.(6,2,3)
15. Variety of Tree.(3)
17. They can be wild, chosen or bit-of-a.(4)
22. "A dark and hungry God ------", Stephen Donaldson novel.(6)
23. Young people.(6)
25. When we'll be there. Abbreviation.(3)
26. Test.(11)
28. Slang word for power or influence.(5)
29. Can be King, dirty or shithouse.(3)
33. Pole.(5)
34. Make sterile.(6)
36. Ringed planet.(6)
38. Ingest.(3)
40. Female pronoun.(3)
44. Ah, the sound of these on a frosty winters morning. I miss it.(7)
45. Borrow, colloquial.(4)
46. Ate.(5)
49. Thermal containers.(6)
50. To compost.(3)
51. Tailed celestial body.(5)
53. Flammable moss.(4)
55. Norse god.(4)
57. Deserve, as in respect.(4)
59. Can be lucky, sheep or salsa.(3)
60. Stash of money, colloquial.(3)

Hat

Bought this hat for Lyn. think she'll like it? Shh, don't tell her.

Millionaires' Club

Here's an idea. I've received two emails this week telling me I've won enormous sums of money, and it got me thinking, I could count the amounts and see how much unreal money I can accumulate over a year or so. Then of course being of the modern age I decided to make a competition out of it. So dig into your "Deleted" folders, find the emails you quite correctly deleted without a moments thought, and swipe the relevant information. Then simply send it to me in a comment on this blog.

No sense forwarding the emails, that's just spamming the internet for no good reason.

I'll keep score and we'll see who is "Richest" next November 5th. Winner pays for the fireworks, with real money of course.

My two this week were:

***************
20081102: From the "Helen Foundation"

This is to inform you that you have been chosen By The Board Of Trustees of the above
International Charity Organization as one of the final recipients of a Cash Donation.
Based on the random selection exercise of Internet Service Providers (ISP)
and millions of Super market cash invoices worldwide, you were selected as the
lucky recipient to receive the award sum of $950,000.00 USD (Nine Hundred and Fifty
Thousand United State Dollars) as charity donations/aid from the Association
Of European Charity Foundations and the UNO in accordance with the enabling act of
Parliament.
*******************

*******************
20081104: From "Tage Koed Manson"

Dear Lucky Winner
We wish to congratulate and inform you On the selection
today,your email has won you the sum of £750,000.00 GBP
in our online email lottery in which e-mail addresses
are picked randomly by computerized balloting, you must
contact the appointed agent Mr Kevin Cool.Fill out the
form below Ticket no: 56475600545 188 for more clearification.
*******************

I make that $950k amd £750k. I feel better already.

By the way, Lynny, happy anniversary. Yes folks, myself and the glorious ginger one met on this day in 1990. (She was brunette then though) - Which leads me onto another topic - poetry. Hmmm, I might just post some verse, see how it goes.

Crossword - 8

It's done, stop now. See what you can do when you work as a team?

Final scores:

Alexandra 12 answers
Alexander 33 answers
Odette 20 answers
Lyn 12 answers


If requested, I can do another next week.

Crossword - 7

Blimey, this is speed-blogging.

Sandy you obviously need a tougher challenge.

Scores:

Alexandra 12 answers
Alexander 31 answers
Odette 19 answers
Lyn 8 answers


ACROSS:
41. Quote from 54 Across's wife, often late on fridays.(3,3)
for sale.(3)
48. Large vessel.(3)

DOWN:
11. Woodworking tool.(4)
23. A park in 54 Across's home town.(6)
41. Judge's blunt implement.(5)
43. --- Force, a beer sold in New Mills.(3)

Crossword - 6

Folks, Sandy can't be overtaken but I want you all to show fighting spirit and finish this thing off ok?

.. and I've now realised there wasnever a clue for 44 down. What a duffer. Now added, see below.

Latest scores:

Alexandra 12 answers
Alexander 28 answers
Odette 19 answers
Lyn 8 answers

Sandy yes you get your kiss, but no tongues Ok? Not after last time.

It's coming along:



And the remaining clues:
ACROSS:
41. Quote from 54 Across's wife, often late on fridays.(3,3)
45. Term descibing sub-standard goods for sale.(3)
48. Large vessel.(3)

DOWN:
11. Woodworking tool.(4)
23. A park in 54 Across's home town.(6)
41. Judge's blunt implement.(5)
43. --- Force, a beer sold in New Mills.(3)
44. First thing to do on receipt of a new credit card.(4,2)
46. Can be true, writer, or strong silent.(4)

Crossword - 5

Latest scores:

Alexandra 11 answers
Alexander 18 answers
Odette 19 answers
Lyn 8 answers

Odette, click on the crossword and it will be big enough to read, you Afrikaan meat-head.

Sandy, result of the stewards' enquiry: rtfm, the sea monster is 17 down, not 19 down. And anyway wifey just got the answer.

And here's how it looks:


Remaining clues:
ACROSS:
13. Make amends.(5)
15. "Sat in your ---" - Kate Bush.(3)
18. 54 Across is one of these, right now, and has been several times before.(5)
30. A time of extreme chocolate-eating, for 54 Across.(6)
32. Arnie was doing this when he said "I'll be back". I think.(7)
40. A type of automated lathe. Abbreviation.(3)
41. Quote from 54 Across's wife, often late on fridays.(3,3)
42. Bad times for schoolkids.(5)
45. Term descibing sub-standard goods for sale.(3)
48. Large vessel.(3)
58. A jacket needs this, especially in Derbyshire.(16)

DOWN:
11. Woodworking tool.(4)
12. The All-Blacks make this before every game.(4,3,5,2,2)
23. A park in 54 Across's home town.(6)
31. Shocked.(6)
41. Judge's blunt implement.(5)
43. --- Force, a beer sold in New Mills.(3)
46. Can be true, writer, or strong silent.(4)
56. About July 23 to August 22. I think.(3)

Come on, you're nearly there...

Crossword - 4

Many thanks Alexander and Alexandra. The current scores are:

Alexandra 11 answers
Alexander 6 answers
Odette 19 answers
Lyn 7 answers

Alexandra, sorry the clue for 55 is really for 56, new clue for 55 below.
Latest:

ACROSS:
13. Make amends.(5)
15. "Sat in your ---" - Kate Bush.(3)
18. 54 Across is one of these, right now, and has been several times before.(5)
29. Round the circuit the wrong way, mate!(3)
30. A time of extreme chocolate-eating, for 54 Across.(6)
32. Arnie was doing this when he said "I'll be back". I think.(7)
40. A type of automated lathe. Abbreviation.(3)
41. Quote from 54 Across's wife, often late on fridays.(3,3)
42. Bad times for schoolkids.(5)
45. Term descibing sub-standard goods for sale.(3)
48. Large vessel.(3)
52. "Listen carefully, I shall say zis only ----" - Allo Allo.(4)
57. Can be red, sticky, winning or magnetic.(4)
58. A jacket needs this, especially in Derbyshire.(16)

DOWN:
11. Woodworking tool.(4)
12. The All-Blacks make this before every game.(4,3,5,2,2)
17. Mythical sea-monster.(6)
23. A park in 54 Across's home town.(6)
31. Shocked.(6)
41. Judge's blunt implement.(5)
43. --- Force, a beer sold in New Mills.(3)
46. Can be true, writer, or strong silent.(4)
51. Ship's staff.(4)
55. "Please ---" - 70's sit com.(3)
56. About July 23 to August 22. I think.(3)

Keep 'em coming...

Crossword - 3

Latest after two more answers:


And the remaining clues:
ACROSS:
13. Make amends.(5)
15. "Sat in your ---" - Kate Bush.(3)
16. Daft Canadian name for a moose.(3)
18. 54 Across is one of these, right now, and has been several times before.(5)
20. A casual look.(6)
23. Unwanted marks.(6)
29. Round the circuit the wrong way, mate!(3)
30. A time of extreme chocolate-eating, for 54 Across.(6)
32. Arnie was doing this when he said "I'll be back". I think.(7)
36. Double 14 Across.(3)
37. Can be brass, red, broken or long.(4)
40. A type of automated lathe. Abbreviation.(3)
41. Quote from 54 Across's wife, often late on fridays.(3,3)
42. Bad times for schoolkids.(5)
45. Term descibing sub-standard goods for sale.(3)
47. First name of the actor who played Gandalf.(3)
48. Large vessel.(3)
52. "Listen carefully, I shall say zis only ----" - Allo Allo.(4)
54. First "R" in Ferret.(4)
57. Can be red, sticky, winning or magnetic.(4)
58. A jacket needs this, especially in Derbyshire.(16)

DOWN:
1. Undergarment.(4)
2. Dick-headed, monosyllabic Stallone character.(5)
3. One of Tolkien's baddies.(3)
4. Everyone, a topless party!(3)
9. Famous song by Jerry Lee Lewis.(5,5,2,4)
10. Part of a film.(5)
11. Woodworking tool.(4)
12. The All-Blacks make this before every game.(4,3,5,2,2)
13. Cleopatra's bane.(3)
17. Mythical sea-monster.(6)
19. "The -------", Shakespeare play.(7)
23. Park in 54 Across's home town.(6)
25. Computer command - show files.(3)
31. Shocked.(6)
32. Enquire.(3)
35. Definite article.(3)
41. Judge's blunt implement.(5)
43. --- Force, a beer sold in New Mills.(3)
46. Can be true, writer, or strong silent.(4)
51. Ship's staff.(4)
55. About July 23 to August 22. I think.(3)

Come on guys, still some easy ones left.

mealy bugs, normal transmission will follow shortly......

....(came to me in a flash!)

thought i saw evidence of them before i left, sorry, you need some spray as o said, you can look up the thai for spray!!!

Crossword - 2

Wonderful response, and only one correction so far.

Latest looks like this:



And the remaining clues:

ACROSS:
1. Usually on the end of 54 Across's nose.(9,7)
8. Detected by 54 Across's nose.(4)
13. Make amends.(5)
15. "Sat in your ---" - Kate Bush.(3)
16. Daft Canadian name for a moose.(3)
18. 54 Across is one of these, right now, and has been several times before.(5)
20. A casual look.(6)
23. Unwanted marks.(6)
29. Round the circuit the wrong way, mate!(3)
30. A time of extreme chocolate-eating, for 54 Across.(6)
32. Arnie was doing this when he said "I'll be back". I think.(7)
36. Double 14 Across.(3)
37. Can be brass, red, broken or long.(4)
40. A type of automated lathe. Abbreviation.(3)
41. Quote from 54 Across's wife, often late on fridays.(3,3)
42. Bad times for schoolkids.(5)
45. Term descibing sub-standard goods for sale.(3)
47. First name of the actor who played Gandalf.(3)
48. Large vessel.(3)
52. "Listen carefully, I shall say zis only ----" - Allo Allo.(4)
54. First "R" in Ferret.(4)
57. Can be red, sticky, winning or magnetic.(4)
58. A jacket needs this, especially in Derbyshire.(16)

DOWN:
1. Undergarment.(4)
2. Dick-headed, monosyllabic Stallone character.(5)
3. One of Tolkien's baddies.(3)
4. Everyone, a topless party!(3)
9. Famous song by Jerry Lee Lewis.(5,5,2,4)
10. Part of a film.(5)
11. Woodworking tool.(4)
12. The All-Blacks make this before every game.(4,3,5,2,2)
13. Cleopatra's bane.(3)
17. Mythical sea-monster.(6)
19. "The -------", Shakespeare play.(7)
23. Park in 54 Across's home town.(6)
25. Computer command - show files.(3)
31. Shocked.(6)
32. Enquire.(3)
35. Definite article.(3)
41. Judge's blunt implement.(5)
43. --- Force, a beer sold in New Mills.(3)
46. Can be true, writer, or strong silent.(4)
51. Ship's staff.(4)
55. About July 23 to August 22. I think.(3)

Crossword - 1

How's this for a transparent attempt to get the hit counter moving?

I've cobbled together a crossword and some clues. Please comment with any answers, and if they are correct I'll post a partially filled in version, and so on until it's complete.

I'll tot up correct answers and the person with the most gets a sloppy wet kiss from me. Hope it's a woman.

Our regulars are a fairly eclectic group, ranging from artists to engineers, so the questions range from difficult(for the engineers) to absurdly easy(for the artists). A couple of tips - cryptic clues end with exclamation marks and some of the answers are New Mills-centric, for which I make no apologies. At this point I should mention that I haven't tested this on anyone before posting it, so there may be spelling mistakes, missing clues etc. - no pedantic behaviour please.

Here's the image and clues:



ACROSS:
1. Usually on the end of 54 Across's nose.(9,7)
8. Detected by 54 Across's nose.(4)
10. Sharpest tool in the box, if you're a surgeon.(7)
12. Try being nocturnal rodents, and flying backwards!(4)
13. Make amends.(5)
14. "--- ring to rule them all, --- ring to find them, --- ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them" - JRR Tolkien.(3)
15. "Sat in your ---" - Kate Bush.(3)
16. Daft Canadian name for a moose.(3)
18. 54 Across is one of these, right now, and has been several times before.(5)
20. A casual look.(6)
22. Tides do this, when not flowing.(3)
23. Unwanted marks.(6)
25. A small amount of whisky.(4)
26. When it comes to writing, this is the sharp end.(3)
28. 54 Across's favourite colour.(4)
29. Round the circuit the wrong way, mate!(3)
30. A time of extreme chocolate-eating, for 54 Across.(6)
32. Arnie was doing this when he said "I'll be back". I think.(7)
33. An abbreviation for a pseudonym.(3)
34. Direction of the rising sun.(4)
36. Double 14 Across.(3)
37. Can be brass, red, broken or long.(4)
38. You'll find this on the top of 54 Across's head. (2,4)
40. A type of automated lathe. Abbreviation.(3)
41. Quote from 54 Across's wife, often late on fridays.(3,3)
42. Bad times for schoolkids.(5)
45. Term describing sub-standard goods for sale.(3)
47. First name of the actor who played Gandalf.(3)
48. Large vessel.(3)
50. "The ----- is strong in this one" - Darth Vader.(5)
52. "Listen carefully, I shall say zis only ----" - Allo Allo.(4)
54. First "R" in Ferret.(7)
57. Can be red, sticky, winning or magnetic.(4)
58. A jacket needs this, especially in Derbyshire.(16)

DOWN:
1. Undergarment.(4)
2. Dick-headed, monosyllabic Stallone character.(5)
3. One of Tolkien's baddies.(3)
4. Everyone, a topless party!(3)
5. Text-speak for "Gosh, your last remark was amusing".(3)
6. One makes a corporal, two makes a lieutenant, etc.(6)
7. Golly, clean that up!(4)
9. Famous song by Jerry Lee Lewis.(5,5,2,4)
10. Part of a film.(5)
11. Woodworking tool.(4)
12. The All-Blacks make this before every game.(4,3,5,2,2)
13. Cleopatra's bane.(3)
15. Big cat.(4)
17. Mythical sea-monster.(6)
19. "The -------", Shakespeare play.(7)
21. Small 15 Down.(3)
23. Park in 54 Across's home town.(6)
24. Large dog, sometimes red.(6)
25. Computer command - show files.(3)
27. Attribute, necessary for tightrope-walkers.(7)
31. Shocked.(6)
32. Enquire.(3)
35. Definite article.(3)
39. Opposite of closed.(4)
41. Judge's blunt implement.(5)
43. "--- Force", a beer sold in New Mills.(3)
46. Can be true, writer, or strong silent.(4)
49. Metric measure, 1000kg.(5)
51. Ship's staff.(4)
53. A golf course has eighteen, a dinner set has six and a bra has two. I think.(4)
54. Fish eggs.(3)
55. About July 23 to August 22. I think.(3)

Good luck all, comment even if you have one answer, and don't forget to tell your mates...

Be good

Sunday

Sunday, at last a day off, ha! I plan the following activities, plus some much needed INactivity:

• Eat
• Shave
• Dress
• Shop
• Gym
• Eat
• Blog
• Skype
• Eat
• Drum
• Sleep
• Bloody hell it's monday already

Seems a fair agenda to me. Later.

Be good.

Autumn

Forgot to mention how stunned I was by the beauty of England in October. There, I mentioned it. Nothing to discuss, we all know about it but continue to grumble about the price of fish. Me in particular. Odd when you can buy a lovely sea bass here for the price of a stamp in England.
Here there is no natural beauty unless you count electric storms. Oh and the jasmine smells nice.