They're here

All set up in my library, records to hand, laptop connected, headphones ready. What's missing? Ah yes, talent. Must arrange some lessons. In case you're wondering the album is Wonderful Life by Black. Proper 80's classic.

I'd been blowing the dust off the drums for five minutes before I was told "this won't work". Apparently my tapping was disturbing her thoughts even though she was three floors away and I had my headphones on. Soundproofing, that's the thing.

and another thing - what is it with me and road debris? Yet another back tyre was (nearly) binned the other day by a 40mm screw. I wondered what the rhythmic "doink" noise was every time the wheel went round. Pulled over to find this...
Scary init? Bike is running well btw, thanks for asking. Finally got it run in. I was coming through Whaley Bridge on 599 miles, approachng the A6 roundabout, and it clicked over to 600 miles. It's left for home through Furnace Vale at 30 mph, or right for the bypass which has no side-roads and rarely any policemen. Guess which way I went?

Later taters.

Transformation

From sensible shopping bike...


.. to mean & moody machine.



The transformation is complete. I love it. I even managed to fit my nice clock gadget to the handlebars.

Payback

I just heard on 6Music (which irritatingly enough is playing that effing stupid Gorillaz single 6 times a day, but that's another story) that a bloke has been jailed for one year for "endangering a vehicle". Apparently he tried to stop a helicopter taking off after - wait for it - it blew litter onto his Landrover.

I laughed a lot when I heard this, because I consider excessive car-proudness to be one of the most annoying aspects of the UK's culture, hence the title of this post. This is an extreme case, but I've seen many examples of British people over-reacting to damage, or even potential damage, to their cars. In my humble opinion those people need to give themselves a jolly good talking to. Here ends today's rant.

On the plus side, I take delivery of my new bike on Thursday, and if anyone scratches it I'll personally murder them and their future generations for a thousand years.

Whaaaat?

Pigeon Power

We came, we saw, we... lost by 5 points. A good evening soon to be repeated, hopefully. What we need is a team of about fifty people. Then we'd have all the answers.

In other news, this has been occupying my mind:
Decision to be made today, after consultation. The devil of it is, this deal makes all kinds of sense, including financial, but the appeal of a "shiny new thing" makes me hesitate. Have I been seduced by marketing? Should I keep fixing up the old bike no matter the cost?

Drums are now in Felixstowe, waiting to go on a wagon. I can't track them from here so I just have to wait for the knock on the door. Seems like years ago that I packed everything up in the Bangkok apartment.

News of impending... news

I have access to photos of a drink-fuellled gurning competition which will probably only amuse the people who were involved in it, but that won't stop me posting it. What IS stopping me posting it is that yet again I've lost my USB doofer for getting files off the phone and onto the PC. New one is on order and normal service will be resumed asap.

Hello odd Lauren. Please take your clogs off and make yourself comfortable.

In other news, the motorbike has one new tyre and I have 93 less pounds than I had last week. New motorbike tyres are wonderful things - the release agent seeps out of them for the first few miles so you basically carry around your own personal diesel spill. Highly dangerous, and many a young hot-head has come to grief yards from the tyre shop. Fortunately I fit into neither category. By the way, thanks Martin, for the use of your garage and your arms.

In other news, I've cycled to work today. 62 mins, average 25.7 kph. Thanks Odette for your seat-positioning advice. A couple of inches forward and my back never twinged once. Luxury. Mind you, I'm now so upright on the bike, I look like I'm going shopping. Ah well, the price of comfort.

Ah well, photos to follow soon.

Laters

Tap Dancing

I was working away in the office yesterday, as usual diggin' the choons in my earphones, when I was tapped on the shoulder. I doffed the earphones and found to my shame that everybody in the office was looking at me and laughing. One of them was on the phone with people on the floor below, and they were complaining about the tap dancing. I was a victim of my habit of drumming along with my feet, and the ancient wooden floors in this converted mill. I was mortified, and now I'm being careful not to let my feet start a-tapping. I don't know how long it will last.

Stopped half way home yesterday after a couple of scary moments on 't motorbike. It was handling very badly on bends, weaving around horribly. I pulled into a garage, checked the tyre pressures - 12 psi in the back. Hmm, that'll be the problem then. On inspection I found this little blighter was to blame..
A nail I could live with, but a screw? Ridiculous. I wondered what the strange rhythmic clicking sound was.

Apparently the tyre manufacturers frown upon repairing tyres, but at £150 a pop for a new one, I think I'll risk their disapproval. This all means I'm on the pushbike till further notice. Had my first go this morning - I reckoned it would take an hour, but got slightly lost in Stockport and took an accidental 3-mile detour. I was never a good orienteer. I ended up taking 91 minutes and arrived to find everyone worrying that I'd gone under a bus. I'll find a more direct route and work on the time. Actually it was a lovely morning for a ride, but that won't always be true, will it?

Oops, just discovered my feet were tapping. Damn you, Phantom Band.

Laters.

Some ramblings

Well met, fellow traveller, and sod you too..

I was trundling along the A56 coming out of Salford (some say the best thing to come out of Salford, ho ho) yesterday, when a red Hyosung 650 roared past me. For those who don't know or care, I ride a yellow Hyosung 650, and there aren't many around. The bloke stopped at the next lights, I pulled up alongside. Normally when two bikes are at the lights there's a nod or a grunt exchanged, a bit like saying "good morning" to total strangers when going to the village shop. It's a recognition of membership in society. Car drivers don't do it, because they are in fact permanently indoors, indeed they are in their own little living rooms watching the road go by on telly. This detachment explains some of their dick-headed behaviour. Car drivers are bemused by bikers acknowledging each other, but I ask you - who's normal here? Anyway, I digress. The bloke on the red Hyosung blanked me completely. He roared off and I sheepishly followed, feeling a bit rejected. I doggedly pulled up alongside him at the next lights and deliberately engaged the chap in conversation. He was pleasant enough, but I felt like there was something missing. Finally he jumped and said "Bloody hell, you're on a Hyosung!". He was instantly more friendly and we discussed the bike's merits, comparing notes on breakdown costs and the perils of cheap and cheerful motorcycling. It's a rare biker that doesn't even look at other bikes, let alone check what make they are. Anyway we parted good friends, and if I see him again on the A56 I will, of course, blank him completely.

Physical jerks

I got such a cob on with this bad back, that I dipped out (see what I did there?) on swimming yesterday. Consequently I will go at lunchtime today and swim my little heart out. It's all I can do on doctors orders. I hope I get referred to a Physio tomorrow, this is killing me. Exercise has been a lifelong habit, and I worry that I've worn out some major parts, pushing an imperfect geometry so hard for 30 years. The "Fitness freak" label is one I accept gladly, but the reasons for all the exercising is not as obvious as you might expect. Some say vanity is the main reason (must keep in shape!), others talk about endorphin addiction. My take on it is, I spend my working life on projects that often last for months, with no sense of closure. It can be difficult at the end of a working week, to feel a sense of achievement when all I've done is make a few blog updates and fill in a timesheet. When I go for a bike ride, or a game of squash, or even a run or a swim, there's a beginning and an end, and something always gets done.

Art

Wifey's under severe stress, with only one weekend left before her third year assessment. She's working basically 16 hours a day. This is the point at which I start to get equally stressed, as she tries out new ideas on me, which seem to completely contradict the ideas she's been working on for the last three months. This business of engineers living with artists is extremely strange. How can you spend three months working so hard on a piece of art, then do something completely different with hours to spare before the deadline? Answer; it's not about the original idea, it's about the process. Weird, mind-expanding stuff. She normally gets good marks so it must be working. Now where did I leave those beta blockers?

Details of the exhibition, which is basically Lyn's third year efforts, and those of two of her colleagues, open to the public for four weekends (thur/fri/sat), are at www.neoartists.co.uk - the title of the show is "Farrago" and it's happening at 28 Corporation Street in Bolton. The dates are shown as 25th June to 24th July, but I believe it finishes on the 17th July. I have to say, the quality of the woodwork, the lighting and the electronics are faultless. I suppose the art's ok too. By the way, if you're used to thinking of her as a painter, be prepared for a sudden left turn.

Laters.

Want it, need it

Saw this for sale in a shack round the corner from the office (there are always shacks round the corner in Bangkok)
It's a Honda Bros, 650cc V-Twin, same engine type as my Hyosung at home. The guy started it up and it sounds luvly. It's for sale for half what I got for the D-Tracker. Hmmmmmmm.

In other news, I'm sat by the pool (using free wireless) on a wednesday morning, waiting for the telephone man to come and fix my line. I've a feeling it won't happen but the morning off is nice. Mind you, I have to stay down here on the ground floor in 35 degrees waiting for him to call my mobile, because my reception is so bad in the apartment. I'm on my fourth t-shirt so far - it's stupidly hot here. I'm too hairy for this climate. Maybe an all-over shave might help. The things that stop me trying it are:

• Uncomfortable unless done every day
• Time-consuming
• Probably ineffectual
  

In any case, if I start radiating all my heat, everyone else is going to be that much hotter.

In other news, there's now a bloke swimming lengths in the pool with a mask and snorkel on. Bit strange, there's surely nothing to see on the pool bottom, unless you're into quality grouting. Maybe he's a pool inspector. In which case I want his job. Jeez he's done six lengths of the (very long) pool already. I'm intimidated. He's slowing down now though, must be struggling, or maybe he's found some mis-matched tiles. There is a gigantic whale done in darker tiles at the far end, and a group of dolphins in the centre. I know because I use them as markers to tell how far I am from the end when I do my 4 lengths. Yes 4. It's a long pool. There are also some stone fish spitting water into the pool along one side. If you don't keep your head down as you swim past you're likely to get wet. That's a joke.
Pool, Spitting Fish, Snorkel Man - did I lie?

In other news my battery is running low, and anyway you're boring me now. Be good, and if you're cold I'm jealous.

Catchup

Catchup time. This might take a while.

First my trip to Bangladesh, and some photos and video I took there. I have to say I'm only posting these because I said I would. When I finally got to see the images on screen they were a massive disappointment. I've set it to music in an attempt to make it bearable, but basically you have some grainy foootage of takeoff and landing, a reasonable exciting boat trip, a boring car trip through Sylhet and some still photos of tea plantations. Watch it for the music, I would - by the way it's Nitin Sawhney "Prophecy".


Before leaving for blighty I managed to sell the bike to an English chap, after having it on Thai Visa (A bit like Loot) for only one day. I'm sorry to lose it but the justifications were wearing thin, since I will be living 200 metres from the office. Here it is on the last night of my ownership, looking clean and sleek. I hope he looks after it...



The Christmas break was as busy, fraught, enjoyable, frustrating, fun-filled and miserable as ever. In no particular order, here are some memories - recorded here before I commit them to the "Forget" pile.

I left Bangkok in 35 degrees and arrived home to blizzard conditions and sub-zero temperatures. Quite disconcerting. Over the two weeks we must have had that smug "I've got a 4*4 and you haven't" feeling a thousand times. In fact a round of applause please for the one good purchase we made 12 years ago - the Toyota Rav4 has done everything we asked of it and 150,000 miles later, after crossing Europe several times with an overloaded trailer, taking us on summer trips with the top down, climbing impossible hills with silky ease, getting us to hundreds of nearly-missed flights at illegal speeds, carrying unlikely bits of furniture and finally dealing with this year's snow-fest without missing a beat, it still has the original exhaust, has never broken down and drives like brand new. (Clap now please)

Here's a picture of said beloved vehicle, laughing off the snow on Christmas eve:
Anecdote 1: While I was home we undertook the two-man task of clipping and bathing the moggies. Cheese wan't too pleased to say the least. Here he is in a rare angry moment, looking, well, clipped and bathed:
Anecdote 2: One of my first gatherings of the season was a funeral for my cousin Graham, who died of cancer aged 51 - how tragic is that?. When we were kids we lived in the same street in Liverpool, and basically we grew up as brothers. People used to say we looked alike, but in fact he was the good-looking one. I lost touch with him after getting married and occasionally I'd consider contacting him and going out for a few, to share memories. That won't happen now and it goes to show the danger of losing touch. The funeral wasn't too sombre - we're a fairly pragmatic family. It was actually nice to see everyone again after all this time. I witnessed a historic conversation between two of my sisters, who haven't spoken for fifteen years, so that was nice. Here are all six siblings, with a couple of partners and a daughter for good measure:Clockwise from top left: Paul, Robert, Paul, Alex, Me, Viv, Chris, Jenny and Gay.
Here's Chris and Jenny making up, with me getting in the way:(History in the making - for the last 15 years I'd need arms 120 miles long to do this)

Lyn put her best Thai-made 50's style frock for Christmas day, and was just as pretty as a picture. In fact here is a picture:(Lyn does the 50's housewife thing - very domesticated)

As usual there was lots of driving around. Occasionally I would be struck by how different the climate is from here in Thailand. One guy here actually asked if I would bring back some snow because he's never seen it. I told him to stick his head in a freezer for five minutes and the effect would be the same. He didn't believe me. Anyway I settled for taking pictures of snowcapped hills.
A panorama from the road above New Mills:

..and the view of Kinder Plateau from my study window:

We did all our shopping in one day in Manchester. It snowed. Here are Lyn and Colin happily (ahem) posing for a snap in Piccadilly Gardens:

I'll soon be in my new apartment, which is visible from the office window. It's very exciting and a little bit sad because I've been in the old place for 15 months and I do tend to get attached to places I've lived in. I get all teary-eyed leaving hotel rooms if I spend more than one night in them so imagine how I feel now. Ihope the new place turns out to be as comfortable as this one. It's certainly cheaper and that counts for a lot... I suppose. (Sniff)

(Taken from the Office window)

Blimey, that's enough catching up for now. If I dredge up any more I'll be sure to post it. For now, be good.