Catchup

Catchup time. This might take a while.

First my trip to Bangladesh, and some photos and video I took there. I have to say I'm only posting these because I said I would. When I finally got to see the images on screen they were a massive disappointment. I've set it to music in an attempt to make it bearable, but basically you have some grainy foootage of takeoff and landing, a reasonable exciting boat trip, a boring car trip through Sylhet and some still photos of tea plantations. Watch it for the music, I would - by the way it's Nitin Sawhney "Prophecy".


Before leaving for blighty I managed to sell the bike to an English chap, after having it on Thai Visa (A bit like Loot) for only one day. I'm sorry to lose it but the justifications were wearing thin, since I will be living 200 metres from the office. Here it is on the last night of my ownership, looking clean and sleek. I hope he looks after it...



The Christmas break was as busy, fraught, enjoyable, frustrating, fun-filled and miserable as ever. In no particular order, here are some memories - recorded here before I commit them to the "Forget" pile.

I left Bangkok in 35 degrees and arrived home to blizzard conditions and sub-zero temperatures. Quite disconcerting. Over the two weeks we must have had that smug "I've got a 4*4 and you haven't" feeling a thousand times. In fact a round of applause please for the one good purchase we made 12 years ago - the Toyota Rav4 has done everything we asked of it and 150,000 miles later, after crossing Europe several times with an overloaded trailer, taking us on summer trips with the top down, climbing impossible hills with silky ease, getting us to hundreds of nearly-missed flights at illegal speeds, carrying unlikely bits of furniture and finally dealing with this year's snow-fest without missing a beat, it still has the original exhaust, has never broken down and drives like brand new. (Clap now please)

Here's a picture of said beloved vehicle, laughing off the snow on Christmas eve:
Anecdote 1: While I was home we undertook the two-man task of clipping and bathing the moggies. Cheese wan't too pleased to say the least. Here he is in a rare angry moment, looking, well, clipped and bathed:
Anecdote 2: One of my first gatherings of the season was a funeral for my cousin Graham, who died of cancer aged 51 - how tragic is that?. When we were kids we lived in the same street in Liverpool, and basically we grew up as brothers. People used to say we looked alike, but in fact he was the good-looking one. I lost touch with him after getting married and occasionally I'd consider contacting him and going out for a few, to share memories. That won't happen now and it goes to show the danger of losing touch. The funeral wasn't too sombre - we're a fairly pragmatic family. It was actually nice to see everyone again after all this time. I witnessed a historic conversation between two of my sisters, who haven't spoken for fifteen years, so that was nice. Here are all six siblings, with a couple of partners and a daughter for good measure:Clockwise from top left: Paul, Robert, Paul, Alex, Me, Viv, Chris, Jenny and Gay.
Here's Chris and Jenny making up, with me getting in the way:(History in the making - for the last 15 years I'd need arms 120 miles long to do this)

Lyn put her best Thai-made 50's style frock for Christmas day, and was just as pretty as a picture. In fact here is a picture:(Lyn does the 50's housewife thing - very domesticated)

As usual there was lots of driving around. Occasionally I would be struck by how different the climate is from here in Thailand. One guy here actually asked if I would bring back some snow because he's never seen it. I told him to stick his head in a freezer for five minutes and the effect would be the same. He didn't believe me. Anyway I settled for taking pictures of snowcapped hills.
A panorama from the road above New Mills:

..and the view of Kinder Plateau from my study window:

We did all our shopping in one day in Manchester. It snowed. Here are Lyn and Colin happily (ahem) posing for a snap in Piccadilly Gardens:

I'll soon be in my new apartment, which is visible from the office window. It's very exciting and a little bit sad because I've been in the old place for 15 months and I do tend to get attached to places I've lived in. I get all teary-eyed leaving hotel rooms if I spend more than one night in them so imagine how I feel now. Ihope the new place turns out to be as comfortable as this one. It's certainly cheaper and that counts for a lot... I suppose. (Sniff)

(Taken from the Office window)

Blimey, that's enough catching up for now. If I dredge up any more I'll be sure to post it. For now, be good.

Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone, and what an auspicious day it is. One person is responsible for my elevated mood this morning. I won't say his name but his initials are Jack Hindley.

I even felt festive enough to put my super melting snowman banner on the blog.

Nuff said.

Suvarnabhumi again

Hello from Gate C5, and goodbye to warmth. I'm heading into the blizzard. Ssee you in 17 hours, glad I packed a scarf.

I STILL Hate Bad Science

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8411329.stm

Well they're at it again. Apparently the secret of long life is to look young for your age. That seems like a simple thing to say, but the way the article above is worded has very dangerous undertones. For instance (and yes I know I'm banging on here), consider these two statements:

1. If your body's cell-reproduction system is good, you will live a long life. You will also appear to age slowly.

2. If you look young for your age, you are likely to live a long life.

The first statement is a bald statement of fact.

The second statement is a subtle spin, which invites the weak-minded to put the cart before the horse and conclude that the secret of long life is to look young. Don't laugh, it happens. They might then rush out and buy up their local Boots' stock of skin creams, or book into the local health spa, having once again been convinced that the problem of ageing and dying can be overcome if they just throw enough money at it.

I'd like to know who put the spin on this article. I'm betting on the journalists. I can't believe any decent scientist would allow their findings to be used in this way. The horrible thing is, once the headline has been swallowed, the actual research can be presented as evidence, and the illusion is reinforced.

Better go, I'm getting far too upset about it.

Be good.

Go

"Go" Is a topical word for me at the moment, being as I'm going to another part of Bangkok very soon, having today paid the deposit on another apartment. It's also the title of my new ground-breaking popular music video, which I post here for your enjoyment. It's not as exciting as the last one but I love the music just as much, so make sure you put it on extra-loud. (Clue - it's a builder).




Comment please, good or bad. If it bored you, that's bad. Anything else - nausea, headache, irritation of the skin or the mind, fear, loathing or love - those are all good. And if you actually liked it then even better.

By the way, the sharp-eyed amongst you will deduce from this footage that my new helmet-cam has arrived. Prepare for tons of video, in a host of inappropriate situations. A walk around the office, a drumming demostration, a visit to the Bai Yoke tower, an hour on a rowing machine (that'll get your travel sickness going), the possibilities are endless. That is, if I care to undertake these activities with an enormous blue rubber strap around my forehead, and what looks like a rocket-launcher hanging onto it. Nano-tech it is not...



Some pics of the view from my new apartment:



..and yes Lynny, it has a nice pool..


..at least we're not overlooked - except for the 200 foot elephant of course..

In other news, I was at the gym today when I noticed this guy:

Busiest man on the planet

Notice he's keeping himself occupied. Sorry it's a bit blurred - my arms were shaking from a particularly strenuous military curl - but he's reading, watching telly, listening to music AND exercising. What a hero.

While we're on (or in) the Gym, I did a quick double-take when I noticed they were selling sweat in the drinks cabinet, alongside the obligatory Perrier and Evian..


Blimey, what ever next?

I had to buy it, and despite looking like sweat, it tastes like Gatorade. So next time I'll take my own drinks.

What else is new? Oh yes, congrats to Wifey and Maureen for the successful exhibition opening night, and hope the visitors continue to flood in. There need to be more events like that in New Mills, so say we all.

Be good.

Three days off

In the middle of what seems like a very long break. Actually it's a three-day weekend because Monday is a national holiday. Unfortunately wifey's not here and I'm bored. So much so that I decided an hour ago that the furniture needed rearranging. I'm now sat facing a wall, whereas before I faced the window. However, I always had the curtain closed to cut out the glare, and now at least I'm not sat in the icy blast from the air conditioning unit. Much more comfortable. Here's a quick tour..


While we're on video, I await the arrival of my helmet cam, which will give me the ability to film anywhere and everywhere. I plan to film my journey to work and set it to music of course. Not sure Lyn will enjoy the occasionally small gaps I have to go through on the bike, but art is art, dahling.

I made an appointment to see some much cheaper apartments next week, closer to work - much closer. In fact walking distance from work. If I do move out it will be sad, I'm very comfortable here and guests seem to like it. I have Lyn and that Irish woman coming over in January so I'll keep this place till at least February. Also if I move close to work I won't need the bike so more savings there. Anyone want a mint condition D-Tracker? One careful owner...

Been training pretty much every day since the eat-athon that was Bangladesh. Now I feel a bit washed out, but also righteous. Today is a day of rest then it's back to the gym tomorrow. New gym is great, after the initial disappointment at finding that, surprise surprise, the rowing machine didn't work. I discovered this on the night I joined, so gave the manager an earful and threatened to leave if it didn't get fixed. Yes, pedantic and overbearing I admit. Lo and behold, on my second visit there was a new machine in its place. Now I feel obliged to row every time I visit. The gym also has a swimming pool, outdoor. It's fairly cool out there in the evenings, being December - I'd say mid-twenties centigrade, so a swim after training is perfect for cooling me down. All in all I'm pleased I changed gyms.

No other news, and no jokes I'm afraid. I better get on with the New Mills Original website I'm supposed to be developing.

Be good.

Bangladesh

Fully re-installed in the Bangkok apartment now, and happy to share my experiences in Bangladesh with you all. One disaster - I took loads of photos and video using my spare phone, which is old and has no USB connection and no Bluetooth, so currently I have no way of sharing those images with you, unless you care to get on a plane and fly 6000 miles to gather round my mobile...

Actually I do have a method for offloading the images but it involves using an equally ancient laptop which is at home in New Mills. It has an IR port ("What's that?" I hear you all say. "Look it up", I answer smugly). I knew I kept it for something. I'll do that during my Christmas hols - hold me to it, as my hero Gideon Coe is fond of saying.

I realised my mistake half way through the trip, and began using my normal phone, but to be honest the best part was flying into Bibiyana on a seaplane, landing on the river, jumping onto a speedboat and hurtling upstream for half an hour, to arrive at the creaking wooden jetty windswept and exhilarated like a proper Cadburys Milk Tray delivery man.

Meanwhile here's some rather dull anecdotes:

I flew business class - what a breath of fresh air that is, even if it makes my inner blue-collar, union-card-holding, all-men-are-equal-but-we-hate-rich-people self squirm with embarrassment every time I bypass a perfectly decent queue (full of potential blog victims) and get whisked onto the plane like I mean more than they do.

On landing at Dhaka, which by reputation is an overcrowded, foul-smelling, beggar-infested dump, we were picked up in a Chevron car - gigantic and air conditioned of course - and driven to the domestic airport for our onward flight to Bibiyana. The domestic airport turns out to be next door to the International Airport, so what the car was for I don't know. By the time the driver managed to manoeuver through the traffic, running over several tramps on the way, we could have walked the 100 metres door to door and still had time for that special me-next-to-the-soldier-with-the-ancient-rifle photo opportunity. Anyway, we were escorted through the tatty departure lounge straight onto the tarmac where our plane waited - wonder of wonders, a six-seater seaplane. I was so far beside myself I noticed I needed a shave. We took photos of the plane but they won't appear here till Christmas.

Landing on the water near the plant was very cool. It was a lovely sunny day and the river was dead flat. Millions of local farm kids appeared as we moored up at the bank to await the arrival of our boat. The plane doesn't often get used so it's all a bit of a novelty to the locals. The plant is in the north-east of Bangladesh in a very rural area with nothing but rice paddies for miles around. As I tell this I'm getting more and more annoyed that I can't show the photo's I took. In fact I just spent a few mins looking for a USB/Infra Red adapter on Ebay. Found one for £5.99 - result! Meanwhile back in the rice paddies, the speedboat turned up half an hour later, laden with one of the plant bosses' wife and kids, who were flying back to Dhaka on the same plane. Now we knew why we'd been put on a plane and not made to spend 6 hours bumping along the crappy roads to get there. Lucky us. The "Oilies" at the plant later gave horrifying descriptions of the road trip, which made us feel very special.

We were most impressed with the weather - apparently December and January are the best months in Bangladesh, cooler and drier than normal. It was about 28 detgrees and very sunny, but not uncomfortable due to the low humidity. All in all a very nice place to spend a few days. On arrival at the plant we were shown to our rooms, which could have been in any reasonably good hotel. One room per guest, containing TWO double beds and a nice clean bathroom. Cable telly of course. I have photos but we haven't yet arrived at the time when I changed phones.

On day three we took a trip out to the two remote facilities, which are both set in the hills about 50km from Bibiyana. We had to go through the nearest city, Sylhet, to get there, but what a treat the journey turned out to be. Tea plantations surround both plants - here's some photo's that don't do them justice:Tea-ladies Bangla style.

Tea, tea all around but not a drop to drink.

The place was simply beautiful. What a way to spend a working day. We did actually get some work done at the plant, and I managed to persuade the locals that I can actually fix things, by solving a few minor bugs for them, which they'd been struggling with for weeks, bless 'em. That helped to build trust so that we can continue to be their engineers-of-choice in the future. I also managed to impress my boss, who was with me, that I can walk the walk and not just talk the talk. A good day all round.

"If the world is ever given an enema, it will be delivered via Sylhet". And yes those are cows in the road.

Next day we flew - yes, flew, back to Dhaka. Unfortunately not on the sea-plane. This time we were driven the 40km to "Sylhet International Airport" which is a grand name for such a small place. Ah well, at least we once again avoided the road trip. One night in Dhaka was enough for me. The hotel was comfy enough, but one line on the room description gave a clue as to what there is to do and see in Dhaka - it says "With stunning views of the airport runway". I kid you not.

Our flight back to Bangkok was once again business class, and I was in good cheer. I was amused to discover we had an Asian pilot, when he made the customary patronising mid-flight speech. Talk of "Cluising at 36000 feet" and "Randing on the Lunway on time" made me snigger. Yes I know, not big not clever.

That's about all really. I ate a lot and subsequently made yet another resolution to get fitter/lose weight. In fact yesterday I joined another Gym, but that's another story and I'm fed up typing.

Later taters.

Oh by the way - the ironing board and iron I mentioned before going away were strategically left out as a gentle hint to my cleaner lady. When I got back they have been put away (I don't know where) and everything I own has been ironed. Aint life sweet.

Bangladeshi jokes

Actually recycled Indian jokes, but I'm in Dhaka so Bangla it is.

Did you hear about the 2 Bangladeshi heroin addicts who injected themselves with curry powder by mistake?

They are both in hospital, one with a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma.

and...

I went to a Bangladeshi restaurant and ordered a Tarka curry. The waiter said "what's tarka?" I said it's like Chicken tikka.. but it's otter.

I do believe I've posted that second one before, but I think I'll get away with it.

Bangladesh is great everyone, don't believe what you read. I've visited three gas plants this week, all in the North East near a city called Sylhet. Two of them were in picture-postcard locations with tea plantations all around. The climate here at this time of year is fantastic, temperatures in the high twenties and low humidity. By contrast, Dhaka is a dump.

Back to Bangkok tomorrow, with pictures and videos and stuff..