Klong Trip with Granty

Here is the photo-diary of our day out with Grant in Bangkok, which ended with the now famous trip to Nana Plaza. It seems like it happened months ago, now that I'm sat all alone in the apartment, shuffling bits of paper around and looking forlornly out of the windows....

Anyway, enough of the maudlin mumbling, here's the skinny..

I took 65 pics on the day, but not all of them are worth seeing. We started badly at around midday in the apartment, finishing off last night's Chardonnay. That put us in the mood for a good day's sight-seeing. Now a lot of you will know that "Going to see things" is not my favourite pastime. I much prefer "Going to DO things", but unfortunately society demands we "Go and see" every relic in whatever city we find ourselves in.

So off we went, in lighter mood thanks to the grape. First thing was to get Grant a BTS Skytrain card. The BTS system is built on concrete stilts above the major roads in the city, and enables easy travel without traffic problems. Take note Boris, build one of these and you'll be a hero.

Having got ourselves onto a train, the first problem immediately became obvious - we were going the wrong way. Damn, that wine works fast. I got away with just a withering look from Lyn, which would have been far more withering (and accompanied by some choice words) if Grant hadn't been there to remind her that things like that are, in fact, funny.

Quick as a flash we swapped trains and headed off in the right driection. Soon we arrived at the river, and a short walk got us to the quayside where a good natured thug negotiated a price for one long-tailed boat, two stops, one hour. Having done the deal, he waved imperiously and this rather impressive vehicle hove to...

I love the dirty great truck-engine-on-a-stick on the stern. Must be a guy thing.

I took these two before we got moving. Note wifey's already-glazed expression.

We'd decided to take in just two stops - the Temple of Dawn (Wat Arun - look it up) and the Grand Palace, where the King actually lives. The driver (pilot? captain? - look it up) however, had his own ideas and headed off upriver in the wrong direction. We'd been kidnapped! (Cue picture of Lyn looking startled...)

But no, he was just heading for the klong (canal - look it up) entrance, to take the back ways to the temple. This took us past canal traders, who paddle little barges full of tat up and down the klong, selling what they can to feed their families. The first one that pulled up had lots of plastic toys, hats and elephant statues. We were about to wave her away when I noticed she had a cooler full of Singha. Wahey! 320 baht later (about a fiver - look it up), we were on our way, freshly lubricated and with Grant less worried about a) the angle of lean the boat took on bends, and b) the possibility of catching Cholera from the river water. There followed a pleasant half-hour of swigging, smiling and clicking...

Strange temple-like structure in someone's garden.

Arse end of another boat. Er, hic, don't know why I took this. Going under a road bridge. A river trader - Oi, got any beer? Is this the right way up? The photo, not the bottle. Thai goverment building somewhere on the klong. More pointless photos..

Some beer.

By the way, the local kids actually swim in the klong, much to the amazement of Grant, who refused to wear sandals in Bangkok because it's too dirty...

This thing is huge, and had workers crawling all over it. Totally pointless, and made of concrete. Yes you heard it here first, most of the sights in bangkok are post-war. Actually I just made that up. This pic doesn't do justice to the structure, probably because I was cross-eyed when I took it. Anyway, we finally arrived at out first destination, the pile of concrete and broken crockery known as Wat Arun (look it up - oh you already have). We were happy to regain our land legs, but they didn't seem to be working very well. On the jetty we noticed some bags of fish-food for 10 baht. Lyn had seen some fish hanging around, but when we threw some food in she was nearly sick when a mass of writhing hungry fish came to the surface. Seemingly they hang around waiting for tourists to feed them. Here's evidence of her alarm (note the slightly slurred speech)...




We moved unsteadily on, and soon found ourselves at the aforementioned pile of broken crockery. To put it bluntly, it's blunt. Looks like five dildos stood on end.




I kid you not about the crockery. The outside of the temple (and there is no inside, bizarrely) is decorated with millions of bits of old broken plates etc. Otherwise it would be a rather boring grey concrete colour. I told you I hated looking at stuff. I ask you, what use is a temple you can't even go inside, and for that matter, why are the steps on the outside so steep? Might as well be a ladder. The rather fuller-figured amongst us (Grant) struggled to climb the steps...



And another thing, having huffed and puffed our way up the thing, the view of the river was hardly worth it..



It was time to move on. We stumbled back to the jetty to rejoin das boot. A short razz across the river (the truck-engine-on-a-stick was raised out of the water to avoid the weeds) took us to the Grand Palace jetty, and we waved farewell to the long-tail boat because our plan was to take a while here and make our own way back to the apartment. We immediately passed a nice little bar, which I have to say was a wrench for me. Sight seeing is so much more pleasant when pissed. Anyhoo, soon we arrived at the site of the reclining Buddha, which is next door to the Grand Palace. One imagines the postman getting his numbers mixed up, and the King receiving fan-mail for a 50-metre-long gold statue, while said statue makes fundamental decisions for the nation, such as which obscure relative of Taksin Sinawatra(spelling? Look it up) is next up for Prime Minister.

Some pics of the stunning(ly useless) Reclining Buddha...

Head..
Feet...
Front...
Back...
Bottom..
.. And top. There, done my tourist duty.

The building around this thing is hand-decorated in the most incredibly intricate patterns. Must have taken years. What a waste of time. Sorry I'm being curmudgeonly again.

Having wandered arond for a few minutes we went next door to see the King's gaff, but they told us the Palace closes at 3.30 every day! What a shame. I was delighted. Back to the apartment via a long and arduous Tuk Tuk ride, just so Grant could say he'd tried it. He hated every second of it - too noisy, too smoky and too expensive.

At least we persuaded the driver to go "Dilect", as normally they offer cheap fares in return for stopping at every ramshackle shack full of tat, for which I assume they get some sort of kick-back from the owners. There was no time for that, as we needed to get home, clean up and get ready for our evening out.

On arriving at the apartment we decided to make use of the swimming pool, to cool off. Nice to have that facility, and be able to use it without freezing one's nuts off. In some ways I don't miss the UK.

There aren't actually any pictures of our evening, except the one I already published, but suffice to say we had a marvellous time in Nana Plaza, had a few beers, watched a "Show" in one bar and had a look at some ladyboys in another bar. It all got a bit hazy later on...

I've been writing this for two hours now and I'm now cramped, cold and hungry. Unfortunately my desk is in the full blast from the AC unit and I'm now used to the Thai climate. Heaven help me when I get home in a couple of weeks, I'll be breaking out the winter woollies.

Enough from me. Be well, back soon.