Anyway, as promised here is the evidence that New Mills can be ugly - very ugly. There's also a fish-inspired video. If you see any of these people on the street, don't offer them a drink.
Gangs of New Mills - the Fish Fingers:
Shazza, aka 'Fish Eyes" - can be extremely dangerous if provoked. Approach with caution, unless carrying Bacardi.
Russell, aka "Fish Head". Has been known to rat on the others, publish embarrassing personal stories etc. Open to bribery to prevent further disclosures.
Stewart, aka "Something Fishy". Gang minstrel, also part-time cobbler.
Odette, aka "Fish Breath". Occasional member of an alternative gang with their own language. Can be understood if persuaded to speak slowly.
Martin, aka "Fishtail". Gang mechanic. If you want it, he can fix it for you. Recently experiencing a poor run of form but expected to bounce back soon.
Lyn, aka "Fish Net". Token ginger floosy. A danger mostly to herself. Not a bad cook.
Lucy, aka "Fish Lips". Demon cyclist and partner-in--crime of Martin "Fishtail".
Fish Fingers in repose. Avoid contact if possible.
In other news, on the same night as the above gurning, there was a strange bloke wandering around the pub doing this:
In other news, I had an hour to spare in Crosby while the afore-mentioned tyre was fitted. I took the opportunity to have a look at the statues on the beach. Very interesting. Here's me with Anthony Gormley:
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