Crossword - 1

How's this for a transparent attempt to get the hit counter moving?

I've cobbled together a crossword and some clues. Please comment with any answers, and if they are correct I'll post a partially filled in version, and so on until it's complete.

I'll tot up correct answers and the person with the most gets a sloppy wet kiss from me. Hope it's a woman.

Our regulars are a fairly eclectic group, ranging from artists to engineers, so the questions range from difficult(for the engineers) to absurdly easy(for the artists). A couple of tips - cryptic clues end with exclamation marks and some of the answers are New Mills-centric, for which I make no apologies. At this point I should mention that I haven't tested this on anyone before posting it, so there may be spelling mistakes, missing clues etc. - no pedantic behaviour please.

Here's the image and clues:



ACROSS:
1. Usually on the end of 54 Across's nose.(9,7)
8. Detected by 54 Across's nose.(4)
10. Sharpest tool in the box, if you're a surgeon.(7)
12. Try being nocturnal rodents, and flying backwards!(4)
13. Make amends.(5)
14. "--- ring to rule them all, --- ring to find them, --- ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them" - JRR Tolkien.(3)
15. "Sat in your ---" - Kate Bush.(3)
16. Daft Canadian name for a moose.(3)
18. 54 Across is one of these, right now, and has been several times before.(5)
20. A casual look.(6)
22. Tides do this, when not flowing.(3)
23. Unwanted marks.(6)
25. A small amount of whisky.(4)
26. When it comes to writing, this is the sharp end.(3)
28. 54 Across's favourite colour.(4)
29. Round the circuit the wrong way, mate!(3)
30. A time of extreme chocolate-eating, for 54 Across.(6)
32. Arnie was doing this when he said "I'll be back". I think.(7)
33. An abbreviation for a pseudonym.(3)
34. Direction of the rising sun.(4)
36. Double 14 Across.(3)
37. Can be brass, red, broken or long.(4)
38. You'll find this on the top of 54 Across's head. (2,4)
40. A type of automated lathe. Abbreviation.(3)
41. Quote from 54 Across's wife, often late on fridays.(3,3)
42. Bad times for schoolkids.(5)
45. Term describing sub-standard goods for sale.(3)
47. First name of the actor who played Gandalf.(3)
48. Large vessel.(3)
50. "The ----- is strong in this one" - Darth Vader.(5)
52. "Listen carefully, I shall say zis only ----" - Allo Allo.(4)
54. First "R" in Ferret.(7)
57. Can be red, sticky, winning or magnetic.(4)
58. A jacket needs this, especially in Derbyshire.(16)

DOWN:
1. Undergarment.(4)
2. Dick-headed, monosyllabic Stallone character.(5)
3. One of Tolkien's baddies.(3)
4. Everyone, a topless party!(3)
5. Text-speak for "Gosh, your last remark was amusing".(3)
6. One makes a corporal, two makes a lieutenant, etc.(6)
7. Golly, clean that up!(4)
9. Famous song by Jerry Lee Lewis.(5,5,2,4)
10. Part of a film.(5)
11. Woodworking tool.(4)
12. The All-Blacks make this before every game.(4,3,5,2,2)
13. Cleopatra's bane.(3)
15. Big cat.(4)
17. Mythical sea-monster.(6)
19. "The -------", Shakespeare play.(7)
21. Small 15 Down.(3)
23. Park in 54 Across's home town.(6)
24. Large dog, sometimes red.(6)
25. Computer command - show files.(3)
27. Attribute, necessary for tightrope-walkers.(7)
31. Shocked.(6)
32. Enquire.(3)
35. Definite article.(3)
39. Opposite of closed.(4)
41. Judge's blunt implement.(5)
43. "--- Force", a beer sold in New Mills.(3)
46. Can be true, writer, or strong silent.(4)
49. Metric measure, 1000kg.(5)
51. Ship's staff.(4)
53. A golf course has eighteen, a dinner set has six and a bra has two. I think.(4)
54. Fish eggs.(3)
55. About July 23 to August 22. I think.(3)

Good luck all, comment even if you have one answer, and don't forget to tell your mates...

Be good