Khao Yai Hash

I went on my first ride with the Bangkok Hash House Bikers last weekend. Had a great time, and got a prolonged lesson in fitness, which included blood, sweat, cramp, nausea, cramp, shredded paper, new friends and more cramp.

I'm going to try to upload an edited video but it's quite a big file so I've no idea if it will load, or if you'll be able to access it afterwards. Here's hoping. The camera's batteries lasted 56 minutes into a 2.5 hour ride, and I then cut down what I had to 9 minutes. I've added a soundtrack and faded voices up as needed, for people who were actually there to hear themselves speak....

(Yes Lyn, that is blood on my forearm. A mere flesh wound.)

Here's how the Hash House thing works: the route is researched during the preceding weeks by the "hare", who on the day lays a trail of shredded paper at the side of the trail for the pack to follow. This is done early morning so that the hare can be present at the start of the hash to give some clues as to what to expect. The paper is in little piles at about 100 metre intervals. There are false trails, deliberately laid to slow down the "FRB's" (front-running bastards). There are also check points, which are large crosses of paper, which mean that the trail continues somewhere within 500 metres of the cross. These also slow down the leaders, as people have to be sent in all directions looking for the continuation. In the video you can see that I was actually present for the breaking of one check point, meaning I was up at the front, or near it. That was before cramp set in, but that's another story. After the ride, the group "circle up" for the ritual humiliation of anyone who's done or said anything embarrassing durng the day. This involves being sent to the middle of the circle and having to drink a glass of beer in one go while the rest of the group laugh at your misfortune. It's all good fun, and the people are nice. There were over 100 at this hash. I joined up for the next one which is on my birthday at the end of April.

The ride itself was proof that I could be a lot fitter. Normally they do a "hangover ride" on the Sunday, but I was in no fit state this time so I got a lift home with two of my new mates. I felt sick, my legs were wobbly and I could feel muscle damage starting after being ravaged during the race by too much lactic acid built up in my overworked leg muscles. Next time I will definitely try the baking soda trick offered by our South Africa correspondent Odette. Cramp is incredibly painful and always seems to hit me after about 2 hours of exercise. One lady took pity on me and stopped to chat near the end, as I was off the bike ooing and aaahing and hopping around in agony. It wasn't the first time I'd stopped and people were always kind and helpful. I saw not one selfish act the whole day, most refreshing. I do hate feeling like an idiot though - I went into this expecting a bunch of casual riders who barely break sweat, but instead I was the lame duck. Next time.........

To give some idea of the toughness of the ride, I've been doing longish rides in the last month on the roads around Bangkok, and my average speed over say 60 kilometres is about 26.5 kph. In Kao Yai the ride was 37.5 km and I averaged 13.3 kph. That shows the difference between road and trail riding. Mind you, some of the hills were very steep and prolonged, which for some reason you can't see from the video. The downhills were nice though.

I must say, the Khao Yai area is very nice, lots of hills and farmland and much quieter than Bangkok. It's about 2.5 hours North of the city so I booked into a resort neaby for the night. That meant that theoretically I could have a few beers and relax in good company, but I'm afraid I only lasted till 9pm and conked out.

The bike worked well as usual. I was spooked by some of the horror stories the veterans were telling about Thai thorn bushes, so needlessly I bought a spare-spare inner tube and carted it around in my camelbak needlessly. I didn't get one puncture. The nearest I came to a mishap was riding through some shrubbery and knocking the camera off line. You'll see that in the video. Oh, and I also took a swipe from a branch and ended up with blood running down my forearm - also briefly visible in the video.

Some pics:

Belmont Village, my resting place for the weekend. Very Dutch Village. Windmills, dykes..



Mine was the green one.



Hashers in repose. This was the half-way water stop. I ate about 50 cakes and was still hungry. Sitting down in the foreground is Linda, a fellow noob, who in fact finished at the same time as I did.



Our van and trailer. Owned and run by Chris, a very nice ex-US marine who also did the ride. 20 quid got me and my bike taken there and back with 7 like-minded individuals. Great fun.

That's about it really. So many new things to think about, I probably should write them all down but my head is log-jammed with information.

Overall I loved it. Can't wait for the next one, which is happening an 26-27 April (my birthday, but don't tell anyone - I wouldn't like to end up in the circle drinking beer and being laughed at) near Pattaya. See you there.

Be good.